Look, I hate crooks, thieves, robbers, burglars, and anybody else that steals shit from someone else. However, I also love to see when the human spirit is able to overcome major obstacles, be it John McClane taking down Hans Gruber and a dozen terrorists in Nakatomi Plaza on Christmas Eve or any of the countless sad stories ESPN runs about prospects during the NFL Draft. So this dickhead somehow being able to steal a 14 foot skeleton that is twice the size of his SUV has my admiration if not my respect.
Pulling a stunt like that anywhere takes guts. But doing it in a crazy place like Texas takes nuts too, even if Austin isn't exactly the wildest part of the Lonestar State. It also takes a lack of brains since the odds of someone in a neighborhood like that having a Ring camera directly on your car is roughly 10000%. Then if by some chance you are able steal the oversized lawn decoration without anybody noticing, you then have A 14 FOOT SKELETON IN YOUR YARD THAT AN ANGRY TEXAN IS TRYING TO TRACK DOWN, which is not exactly the most understated decoration in the world.
Anyway, I give this mamaluke an A for effort, a B for execution, and Ts & Ps that nobody finds him. JK, fuck him. I hope he gets his fake skeleton taken back and his real skeleton beaten to a pulp.
Now let's wrap this blog up by watching some of the best scenes from the coolest fictional thief to ever grace the big screen.