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White Sox Dave Was Once On The Ivy League's Radar

The Chicago Boys had noted high class individual, Francis Ellis on the Dog Walk Draft this past week. The topic the finer things in life. Francis was perfect for this being a well spoken, professional young man with manners, a divine wardrobe, and a Harvard education. He is also very wealthy. 

Then you have guys like White Sox Dave who has never been out of the country, tried to pay for a cab ride with fake sunglasses once, and may or may not have a restraining order from a waitress at a diner in New Jersey. It was quite the melting pot with those two you'd think being the farthest apart, but then White Sox Dave dropped the little nugget that he was recruited to a couple of the worse Ivy League Schools when he was looking into colleges.

Dave was an accomplished baseball player and played in college, but Ivy League schools looking into this guy?!?! It was just one nugget dropped during this entertaining draft. Check out the grades below:

Team #1: B

Sitting Courtside is a great 1.1. You're in the same stadium as the regular people, but you're in the light. You're on TV. You're almost part of the action and could really be if there is a loose ball. More so than any other sport. Private pool on vacation in your room is also a monster perk that separates you from the other regular people on vacation. With old, ugly, fat, drunk, and other people roaming around the regular pool, this gives you a buffer and some privacy if you want to take it right to the bed (awooga!). Fenced in porch is a puzzling one in the 3rd round, but I kind of understand it. I'm not sure it's luxurious as most homes in Florida that have pools have these to keep the bugs out. After learning that a helicopter could make a 5 hour ride just 30 minutes, I am very back in on helicopters after taking a hiatus since the tragic Kobe Bryant accident. I have only been at a restaurant once with a Sommelier, but it is a really cool thing that enhances the experience.

Team #2: C

Polo feels a bit high at #2 overall. It sounds like nobody has even really been to one, so a bit of an assumption. But it does feel pretty hoity-toity. Gated Community WITH Guard does make a big difference, but feels like kind of a hassle. Going to the Theater makes sense, but I'm also judging on things that I would like to do and so far this draft really misses the mark on that. Flying Private is a great pick in the 4th round and does kind of devalue the 3rd overall pick, First Class. Palate Cleansers definitely class things up, so solid 5th rounder, but this Draft didn't stand out at all to me.

Team #3: B-

I know flying private got picked later, but flying first class is still a finer thing that way more people have done. So this still gets points for broader appeal. Caviar is very good but so wildly expensive I'd never buy it. But that is certainly an extremely fancy food item. Enjoying Opera isn't for me necessarily, but that is a rich person activity. Same with enjoying Modern Art, but that could probably be changed to just art. Modern art almost feels less classy to me. Wintering and Summering means you've got several properties in several different regions of the country, so 5th round is a steal in my opinion. 

Team #4: C-

Not asking Market Price is certainly a fair option, but I'm not sure that's luxurious. It just means you're wealthy and you don't care. Limos are exclusively for proms, weddings, and getting to and from strip clubs when you buy a bottle because they're included in that bundle. Those are always the grossest vehicles on the planet. Cashmere is a decent pick and a very fine material that I learned doesn't "pill" like other sweaters. Private Cabana is certainly a fun thing, but I feel like most people that do that are just on bachelor or bachelorette parties. Croquet in my mind is basically Polo, just without horses. I had friends growing up that had the sets in their backyard. Nothing crazy, so not a great pick in my mind.

Team #5: B

Another contender here with Country Clubs being an outstanding 1st Rounder. It was wild to hear how varied the initiation fees can be on these. Vintage alcohol collection with things aged a certain number of years is certainly a wealthier feel than just a bottle of Jack. Rolex's in my mind are top notch and I'm not even familiar with other major watch brands that would be as expensive, so that plays. Having multiple forks/knives/spoons is a majorly intimidating move. Not sure if it's a finer thing as it would be one thing on this list that makes you uncomfortable, but I get the concept here. Rowing or Crew is a finer idea, but the people that do that had to wake up at like 6am in college and head out to the water which seemed like the opposite of luxury.


Who do you think won the Finer Things Draft? Vote here:

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