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INVESTIGATIVE REPORT: NYC Smoke Shops Are Openly Selling Psychedelic Mushroom Candy Bars ??!!?!?!?!?!?

As I was scrolling the New York Post today, looking for any salacious headline that I could give an overly sarcastic take on that would make our editors slightly uncomfortable, but not so uncomfortable that they won't post my blog, I came across a shocking investigative report.

Some Big Apple smoke shops are selling “magic mushroom” psilocybin bars to anyone looking for a psychedelic kick, The Post has learned. - NY Post, Helayne Seidman

Imagine my surprise when I learned of this? Apparently, there are smoke shops in New York City, specifically in the East Village and Chinatown, that are selling PSYCHEDELIC MUSHROOMS?!!?!!

Boots-on-the-ground professional investigative reporter Helayne Seidman from the New York Post hit the mean streets of NYC, and uncovered 5 smoke shops in the East Village & Chinatown that are selling these schedule 1 narcotics.

5 smoke shops you say? Is it just 5 in the East Village and Chinatown? Or is it every smoke shop you have ever been to anywhere in the city? Very intriguing!!

Over the counter? To just anybody who walks in and asks if they have chocolate mushroom bars? The ones that come with 15 pre-cut squares, and multiple different flavors like milk chocolate, chocolate coconut, and cookies & cream? The Polkadot branded ones? With the information on the packaging that tells you if you take 10-15 pieces at once then the "walls will melt"? 

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We'll I'll be.. 

Do they just have them out in the open? Or do you have to ask the guy at the counter, then he sizes you up for a minute before before walking into the back of the store? Then does he return with a few different options for you? That sounds like it would be a sort of awkward transaction to make right? But probably worth it in the end?

That's insane.. 

Are the Polkadot branded mushroom bars the best ones? Or is there another brand that comes with only 6 squares but are actually way better? Do you remember what those were called? Or do you have no idea because you can't remember what smoke shop you got them from? So you've been on a hunt for them ever since but can't seem find them anywhere? Not that the Polkadot branded bars are bad. But that one time when your brother came to visit you got that other mushroom bar with the 6 squares and it was a way better high. Then you had blast showing him the city, so now you're looking to recapture that feeling. Do you know what that brand is?

Very interesting story that the New York Post cracked wide open here.

One more thing: Hey, New York Post 👋🏼 - can we fucking relax here?

Earlier this month, a United Airlines passenger went ballistic mid-flight and assaulted a passenger and flight attendant after ingesting magic mushrooms. Last year in Miami, a man who was tripping fatally shot a 21-year-old father protecting his infant son and allegedly danced on the victim’s body. - NY Post, Helayne Seidman