Surviving Barstool | Ep. 1-5 Are Now Available On DemandWATCH HERE

Luis Robert Just Bought An Incredible South Florida Mansion

I don't know what the legalities of copying/pasting the pictures of his house are so you're going to have to click the blog above to see the pics. Needless to say though, the house is fucking amazing. $12.25MM, a shit ton of bathrooms, a shit ton of bedrooms and a shit ton of living space in south Florida. It almost compares to my 2 bed, 2 bath condo on the west side of Chicago.

Lots of people up in arms about this because Robert didn't play well last year. Those people are nosy assholes. Ya know what I say? I say sweet. Do what you want with your money. In the end $12MM is chump change to Robert, who's already cleared $36MM in earnings as a 25 year old and is due more than $40MM still at the bare minimum. GO CRAZY KID!!! Live it up. I know I would be if I had the means to.

Except when you start making lists of personal chefs, personal drivers, butlers and all that, hire someone to KEEP YOU ON THE FUCKING FIELD NEXT YEAR. In the last two seasons, Robert has played a grand total of 168 games. Hamstrings, hip flexors, wrists, quads, you name it. If there was a muscle that could be pulled or jammed, Robert pulled or jammed it. Those injuries have been responsible for two things:

1. Robert not fully tapping into his potential yet and
2. The white sox being dog shit in 2022***

This dude has to stay healthy. I'm not calling him soft, I'm saying he needs to figure this shit out. Hire some top scientist. Ask around and find the best steroid guy. I'm sure there are plenty of juice heads in Miami you can consult. I don't know how to go about this, and I don't care. That's not my job. I just know that you need to stay on the field if the Sox want to be playing in October next year and while you're at it, have Eloy and Moncada move in with you and hook them up with the same dude I'm forcing you to hire to keep you on the field. 

Is that too much to ask? If you do figure it out you're looking at another $300MM contract if you tap into your potential. Think about it.

Giphy Images.

*** The crowds at the MLB playoff games this year have been outstanding. A lot of teams that haven't won dick for their home fans playing right now in the Phillies, Padres and Mariners and their crowds have all been crazy hostile. Huge home field advantage and it makes me sick to my stomach the White Sox fucked up something good and had such a dog shit 2022. You'd think I'd be over this season so far, but I'm not. I'm still every bit as pissed off now as when the season ended. Maybe more. The crowds being so awesome haven't helped because that's how Sox park should be right now. 

FIX THIS WHITE SOX. Fix this. Please just fix it.