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Ben Simmons "Can't Wait" To Play In Philly, Is An Elite Liar

Nathaniel S. Butler. Getty Images.


If there's one thing that Ben Simmons is better at than any other player in the NBA, it's lying. We really haven't seen a liar quite like Ben Simmons since the likes of George Costanza. And I believe Ben comes from the same school of thought as George where as "it's not a lie if you believe it". The mental gymnastics it requires to pull off such preposterous lies is truly astounding. And Ben Simmons may have pulled off his best one yet in this ESPN Q+A when asked about his level of anticipation heading into the Nets' first regular season game in Philadelphia in November. 

ESPN -- Are you looking forward to that game [against the 76ers on Nov. 22]?

Simmons: F---, I can't wait to go there, yeah. But for me, everything's an experience and a learning situation. So for me I'm able to learn something that I've never been through before. I've never been traded and played against a team that I got traded from. Kev has, Ky has, a lot of guys have, but I've never been in that situation so -- you have to go through it. Ky went back to Boston, and he didn't play well, but it's a lot. We're people, too. We want to go out there and prove everyone wrong.


Now anybody with half a functioning brain can tell you exactly how this will play out. Ben Simmons will have a "scheduled" maintenance day for November 22. Or perhaps he'll "tweak" his back during the Nets' west coast trip in the middle of November and won't be available to play on the 22nd. Either way, you have the same chances of actually suiting up for that game as Ben Simmons does. 

However…I truly believe that he has been able to pull off the necessary mental gymnastics to make himself believe that he can't wait to go back. To make himself believe that his lack of ability to shoot is just the same as Giannis. To make himself believe it's always everybody else's fault. He is so elite at lying that he doesn't even know he's doing it. It just comes as naturally to him as grinding in the offseason to improve any deficiency in their game comes to Joel Embiid. 

Sidenote: I know that Ben already played against Philly already this preseason. But that's a completely different scenario. Primarily because Embiid wasn't in the lineup that night. I just can't see a world where Ben Simmons willingly goes out on the same floor as Joel Embiid.