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I Tried To Get Canceled So I Can Be More Popular

Francis is back and it's all anyone can talk about. Guy writes one blog about a dead girl and he's the most popular guy at Barstool. I've had enough of it. Why don't people like me as much as they like Francis? Well, it's because he got canceled and now he's back. Getting canceled is like jet fuel for people's careers nowadays. It makes you stronger. It makes you more popular. So I needed to get canceled myself. I tried everything from bashing Taylor Swift on TMZ live, to calling Zah a slur, to calling Joey and Pat the f-word, to attacking the gluten free community, and more. 

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