Guardians Pitcher Cal Quantrill Is Literally The Best Dude And You Should Be Rooting For Him To Mow Down The Yankees

The ALDS series between the Guardians and Yankees has been painted as the haves vs the have-nots, power hitting vs contact, and flashy favorites vs scrappy upstarts. Hell, even the Guardians themselves have dubbed this David vs Goliath.

I would like to submit another version of the storyline: Good vs Evil.

You can take that in the literal sense since the Yankees are commonly referred to as the evil empire and the Guardians record would say they are a good but not great baseball team. I prefer to take that as the Yankees and their trash-hurling, injury cheering, foul-mouthed fan base are as evil as it gets.

Just ask Steven Kwan and Myles Straw how heinous those greasy scumbags can be.


To be fair, I might also be an angry piece of garbage if my entire existence was boxed into 750 roach-infested square feet filled with roommates and garbage stench.

But enough about evil, let’s talk about the good: Guardians Game 1 starting pitcher Cal Quantrill. The 27 year-old had himself a nice year starting 32 games with a 1.28 WHIP and a 3.38 ERA that scaled down to 2.21 over his last 12 starts.

But off the field he is even gooder. When he’s not being a top 35 pitcher in the majors apparently he’s a total sweetheart.

Cleveland is a small, big city. Things like this happen all the time but we don’t usually get to hear about them. This is exactly the type of stuff I want to hear just hours before Quantrill walks into the brightest spotlight in baseball and makes his postseason debut.

Obviously, those good deeds don’t mean that Cal will get a victory and put the Yanks on the ropes but it certainly can’t hurt. Karma, God, or whatever else you might believe in always has one common thread: Good prospers and evil is punished.


If any of those things actually exist then Cal will be rewarded while Tommy Smokes and Marty Mush are punished for worshiping false idols (Aaron Judge’s teeth).