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Elmer Soderblom Is Going To Be The Biggest Mutant In The NHL This Season

Gregory Shamus. Getty Images.

He's here, he's huge, and he's awesome. Elmer Soderblom is the definition of a problem. 

With Zdeno Chara retiring this season, the NHL is in need of a new Head Mutant In Charge. Everybody knows that Chara was some wild Czechoslovakian science experiment that got out of hand. Either that or he's an alien. Either way, there is nothing natural about a 6'9" monster who can do like 500 pull-ups, win a Norris Trophy, lead the Bruins to a Stanley Cup, and play well into his 40's. But there's a yin to every yang in life. And with Zdeno Chara hanging up the skates for good, that just opens up the door for 6'8" Swedish monster Elmer Soderblom to take the reigns. 

Just look at this fella go. Nobody who is 6'8" should be having silky paws like that. That backhand was like a stick of butter that's been left out all day. So nonchalant, too. He looks like the 12-year-old kid who hit puberty 4 years before everybody else out there and is just dummying all these little twerps who still can't even tie their own skates. And he's not just silky smooth out there, he's an absolute wrecking ball at the same time. This whole play starts when Soderblom crushes Villeneuve in the corner. So he's going to be one-man demo crew in the corners, and then an assassin when the puck is on his stick. 

Just like Chara, there's nothing natural about that. 

6'8". 20+ goals in the Swedish league last year. An absolute menace in the corners. Stevie Y found himself another big time member for the Motor City Goon Squad. 

Sidenote: How dumb is the NHL to have the opening game of the regular season last night while a bunch of preseason games are still going on at the same time? I know we shit on the NHL for not knowing how to market their product, but goodness gracious these idiots are terrible at it.