This High Ranking Apple Executive Lost His Job Today For Liking Big Jacks (Tits), And Telling The World About It

Dante9/29/2022 11:10 PM

Bloomberg - One of Apple Inc.’s most senior executives is leaving after he turned up in a viral video on TikTok making an off-color joke that he fondles “big-breasted women” for a living.
In the video, published on Sept. 5, Apple’s Tony Blevins was approached by TikTok and Instagram creator Daniel Mac as part of a series where he asks owners of expensive cars their occupations. The executive was stopped by Mac while parking a Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, an out-of-production sports car that fetches hundreds of thousands of dollars.
When asked what he does for a living, Blevins said, “I have rich cars, play golf and big-breasted women, but I take weekends and major holidays off.” He also touted that he has a “hell of a dental plan.”
In reality, Blevins is Apple’s vice president of procurement and is in charge of striking deals with suppliers and partners. He recently worked on the company’s satellite agreement with Globalstar Inc., led negotiations over cellular modems with Qualcomm Inc. and Intel Corp., and has been in charge of driving down the costs of many critical parts that go into Apple’s mobile devices.
After an internal investigation into the matter, Blevins’s team -- which included about half a dozen direct reports and several hundred employees -- was removed from his command, according to people familiar with the situation.

In the words of the immortal Vince Lombardi, "what the hell is going on out here?"

I thought this was America people?

First off, what the fuck did Tony Blevins (all time big-boob-guy name if we're being honest) say that was so wrong???

He has rich cars (sic)? Likes to play golf? And big-breasted women?

Giphy Images.

So we're firing people for honesty now? Sweet.

That’s as red blooded, American (straight) male, as it comes right there. I’m pretty sure it’s in the Constitution.

Secondly, "Instagram and tik tok creator" Daniel Mac (ironic name) needs to get a fucking life.

Hanging out at country clubs, polo matches, and Nancy Pelosi fundraisers, accosting big swinging dicks as they get out of their McLarens and Maybachs, asking them what they do for a living while filming them is the lamest shit in the world. Go get a real job dude. Stop mooching off the success of other people and posting shit that you know is going to get them in trouble onto the internet for the outrage police to get triggered at and come for their heads.

Luckily for Tony, I don't think he'll be hurting from missing any paychecks anytime soon. And silver lining here is this just gives him more time to drive his rich cars, play golf, and play with giant cans.