WATCH: This Russell Wilson Subway Commercial Will Make You Feel As Uncomfortable As You've Ever Felt

Full disclosure, I'm a long standing card holder of the anti-Russell Wilson fan club. I even actively rooted for him to strike out in spring training when he showed up to play for the Yankees years back. My annoyance with this man has run deep for a decade or so now, which led me to believe at first that I was over-reacting with the first half of the video. Maybe I'm just brainwashed to want to pull trig and puke anytime he does anything on camera. Then I kept watching and realized this was just another gem from the Russell Wilson vault of videos that will absolutely make you want to crawl out of your own skin 

All I'm thinking about is how many takes they used up for this before they wrapped up and green lit the whole thing. They've got lighter punishments in Guantanamo Bay than having to keep your composure as the cameraman for this. You gotta think it's impossible multiple people watched back the whole tape and thought they had a winner here. Same with Broncos Country, Let's Ride. Yes I know going viral is everything these days, but how about Russell Wilson's people? No one saw this from his team and said maybe let's try something different? Man just signed a $245 million deal, he doesn't need to embarrass himself like this for a check. I don't get it.

He wasn't always like this, right? Like before Mr. Unliiiiiiiiiimited, Broncos Country Let's Ride, the fake huddle stuff, there had to be a normal-ish side to him. At one point he was just a religious weirdo who believed that miracle concussion water was the cure to all his problems. At NC State and Wisco he was the man. His first few years in Seattle he was like-able. When did THIS version of him take over with zero self awareness whatsoever? Just a 5+ year long PR campaign which crafted him into the corniest, weirdest dude on the planet. It's almost like this is some Britney Spears conservatorship shit with Ciara behind the scenes pulling all the strings. 

PFT made the perfect video

I also love that Russ put out this Victory Monday video the other day. Yes they won on SNF, but you'd think based on this they put up 35 with ease. 

Broncos country in shambles watching their $245 million man struggle to score a touchdown but he's out here throwing up Tom Brady victory edits. Incredible.

One more time, but more of a horror film edit to suit the weirdness of the video.


Jeffrey Dahmer. The dude from You. Homelander. Russell Wilson. Oh don't mind me I'm just listing a few guys off the top of my head for no particular reason. Just closing out the blog with some names that's all.

P.S. It pissed me off way too much with how many bites he took compared to the actual damage down to the sandwich. I mean go to the 25 second mark and look at how bad the editing is. Also why is the wrapper still on the thing while he's eating it? Did anyone direct this?