Cue the Duckboats | Championship Collection for Banner 18SHOP NOW

Advertisement

I Went On TMZ To Discuss Why Taylor Swift Did NOT Deserve The Super Bowl Halftime Show

Before Rihanna was officially announced as the halftime performance for this year's Super Bowl, Taylor Swift was rumored to be the leading candidate. And when you think of Taylor Swift, you think of one person: Tommy Smokes. So TMZ hit my line and asked me if I could come on to discuss Tay as a halftime performer. Well, about 30 seconds before my segment aired, Harvey Levin got a text message that she was OUT as the Super Bowl halftime performer. So I talked about why that was great news. Here are a few reasons why Taylor Swift should have never even been considered for the slot. 

Taylor Swift Is Sexist

Taylor Swift is a man-eating sexist (towards men). She dates men just so she can nag them, get dumped, and then cry and write a song about it. But Taylor honey, YOU are not the victim. You are the offender! In today's anti-man society, we vilify men like Leonardo DiCaprio for dating a bunch of girls, yet what Taylor does is 10x worse and we celebrate her. Not on my watch

Taylor Swift Is A Cry Baby

What would her halftime performance even be? Crying into a tissue about all the boys who broke her heart? I don't think she has the emotional fortitude to perform in front of that large of an audience. 

Taylor Swift Is Destroying The Environment 

Despite all her hippie preaching about wanting to save the environment, she jets around willy nilly on her private jet and burns up fossil fuels like its nobody's business. Our great grandchildren won't have any idea what a tree is. And you can thank Taylor Swift for that. 

Taylor Swift Is Gluten Free

Taylor Swift is gluten free (probably). And I think it's about time we stop giving those people a voice in society to spread their propaganda about how I should eat and what I should put in MY body. 

Thankfully, Rihanna has been chosen instead. She's not only a better performer, but also a better person who probably eats gluten.