A Couple Was Fined Hundreds Of Dollars For The Victimless "Crime" Of Having Sex In The Ocean

Daily Mail- A couple who was caught having sex has been fined by authorities in Colombia's Caribbean coast department of Atlántico. Sunbathers were shocked at the sight of a couple having sex in broad daylight at Marimar Beach in Puerto Colombia on September 11.

Puerto Colombia public security chief Saúl Leyva revealed that the couple, whose names were withheld, was identified by authorities and fined 900,000 Colombia pesos, about $205. 'We have a manual for the use of the beaches to make responsible use of the area, that is why we located these people and fined them,' Leyva said. 

What the hell is this? Since when is making love a crime? Don't talk to me about the fluids in the water since people pee in the ocean all the time and a bazillion fish unleash every fluid known to man in the ocean every day.

I know you can't bang in public and all that stuff. But I thought anything goes in international waters.

***thinks about it for a second***

Okay, I admit that I'm not sure where international waters begin. But I think it should be around the point of the ocean where your nipples are underwater or at the very least past the buoys where the lifeguards will whistle at you if you venture past them. If you want to swim with lifeguard protection, stay before the buoy. If you want to swim without having a lifeguard that can save your ass, go past the buoys and go to town on your consensual partner. A pretty easy system that will allow these people to get off scot free for getting off instead of paying a $200 fine.

Which brings me to my next point. How do the police even know they were having sex? It doesn't look like the ocean water of Colombia is crystal clear like in the Caribbean or anything. And even if they were getting after it, what's the difference if they were fucking in the water or fucking on a boat if nobody could actually see anything? Do you have to spend thousands on a boat in order to save hundreds in fines? Because the only thing a boat gets you is a little more privacy, better sex (since water sex lowkey sucksssss), and of course the implication.

However now you have all the headaches that come with owning a boat. And what if you don't have a boat or can't afford a boat? Are boatless people not allowed to have sex when they are at the ocean? I'm honestly more offended about when they fucked than where they fucked. This entire thing stinks to high hell of corruption, which could NEVER happen in a place like Colombia. 

Wait, what was that?

The lewd beach act comes nearly two months after Emily Barríos, a native of the Colombian city of Santa Marta, was filmed having sex with an American man on the balcony of an apartment in the Caribbean coastal province of Cartagena and coerced into coughing up several thousands dollars to prevent from being processed through the judicial team.

The interrogation went south when the two officers started asking them for money because they would be subject to a fine. They ended up giving $3,000 to the crooked cops, Barríos said. 

Fucking Colombia, man. Keep your heads and private parts on a swivel down there.