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BUILT DIFFERENT: Bengals Safety Jessie Bates Dislocated His Finger In Week 2 And Did Not Miss A Single Damn Snap

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick.

Jessie Bates is reluctantly playing under the franchise tag and isn't going to let some trivial EXTREMELY PAINFUL injury keep him off the field at all.

Yeah, the Cincinnati Bengals are 0-2 and that sucks, but Bates' sheer toughness here is the epitome of leading by example. Unless I blacked out in anger during the Bengals' loss in Dallas this past Sunday to Cooper Fucking Rush and Co., I don't recall the broadcast ever bringing this up. Probably because Bates made so little out of it and, like beloved defensive coordinator Lou Anarumo confirmed, didn't even bother coming off the field.

I remember my buddy in high school came sprinting to the sidelines with his thumb jutting in a completely unnatural direction. He just ran up to the trainer and kept repeating, "My thumb! My thumb!" with sort of a stunned facial expression. I was very impressed with how chill he was as he got it popped back into place.

Me? I might pass out at the sight of my finger being dislocated. Difficult to say for sure. I have a weirdly situational aversion to the sight of blood. Dislocation is different and I'm glad I haven't had any experience with that. Only one major non-bleeding injury. I remember being more pissed off than anything else when some asshat truck-sticked the shit out of me during a non-contact walkthrough practice and shattered my left wrist. LOL. Guess that's why I write about sports rather than play them professionally. No that the kid went pro but his dad did play in the NFL and he was like 6-3, 235 to my 5-10, 175. I take blame for sticking out my arm to brace my fall, too. Classic dumb teenager move.

Story time over. Jessie Bates is a damn hero and it'll be kinda sad to see him sign to play elsewhere in 2023. For now I can enjoy him on the Bengals and hope he has his best season yet so that we can get this disaster start turned around.