Tom Brady Denies Ryan Fitzpatrick is the Mystery 'Muthafucka" and Says He Never Disrespected Him

By now, all decent, law-abiding citizens of this once-great land ought to know that Tom Brady "Motherfucked" an unnamed quarterback because said QB's team stuck with him instead of signing a very available Tom Brady. And that most of us believe he was referring to Ryan Fitzpatrick.  Not the least of whom is Ryan Fitzpatrick. If you're not familiar with this solved mystery, here is all you need to know:

Brady could not be reached for comment. Until last night, on his own podcast. Where he, in his usual carefully chosen, most diplomatic way, called Fitzpatrick a lying liar who's telling big fat lies:

Source - Tom Brady revealed that, despite his insistence that it is indeed him, Ryan Fitzpatrick is not the “motherf–ker” he went viral for criticizing last summer.  

“I like to keep them guessing, and unfortunately with this coming out, I’d have to tell him,” Brady said when asked by co-host Jim Gray on his “Let’s Go” podcast if it was indeed Fitzpatrick. “It wasn’t him.” 

The asked about Fitzpatrick's claims that Brady refused postgame handshakes and had "zero respect" for him, Brady again accused him of wearing pants that are, and I can't stress this enough, on fire:

Brady doesn’t know where any of it is coming from. …

“Go ahead, let’s talk about Ryan. And I love Ryan, but somewhere he’s got it out for me. And I actually talked to Ryan Griffin, who’s one of our quarterbacks, and he said ‘Ryan’s always all over you. I don’t know why.’ So I don’t know why Ryan is. Maybe Ryan and I need to have a talk.

“Ryan is a hell of a guy, too, and I’ve competed against him. He’s a Harvard guy, now he looks like he’s part homeless, and now he’s on TV doing what my future job’s going to be, so I think Ryan’s got a good thing going, I’m not sure why he needs to think that I’m after him or something like that.”

So to summarize:

So it would appear that what we've got here is an old fashioned Famous, Articulate, Telegenic Quarterback with a Future in Broadcasting Pissing Contest. The likes of which the NFL hasn't seen since Roger Staubach clapped at Joe Namath by saying, "I have lots of sex too. I just have it with my wife." That one divided America along the cultural lines between people with Judeo-Christian moral values who believed in monogamy, and those who either wanted Namath's sex life or wanted to bone Broadway Joe himself. 

I can't imagine who's going to take which side in this beef. I mean, will it be Michigan Men vs. Harvard Men? Because frankly who cares? All I know is that we need these two to have that talk Brady mentioned. In front of cameras. Put it on Pay Per View and give the proceeds to Best Buddies. But have this conversation. We've got two high profile athletes who have taken up America's Sundays for a combined 40 years. 40! One may have called the other a motherfucker while taking a dump on his entire career. That one called the other a fraud and a poor sport and said he took joy with every interception that guy threw. Now the first one is calling the second one a liar. It's indescribably beautiful. 

And we need more of it, not less. If this all just turns out to be some sort of WWE-style play acting in order to hype both of their network jobs, I'll be profoundly disappointed. But assuming it's real, bring it the hell on. Better yet, settle it like men at the next Rough 'n Rowdy. But however they resolve this, just as long as the public gets to witness it, I'm all about it.