Yeah I Sucker Punched Some Random Dude At A Convenience Store. You Got A Problem With It?
I've been tagged in this video enough by people asking/accusing me of a sucker punch that I decided I am just going to roll with the literal punches. I may have spent my entire time here at Barstool building up a reputation as a nice guy. But people like that notoriously finish last and there are some times I am forced to hold my tongue in order to maintain a happy big guy persona here.
So I decided to go heel like Hulk to Hollywood Hogan in order to refresh my #brand, even if it meant sending another person to lala land for no good reason which inspired the most honest reaction to a sucker punch that happened behind him that I've ever seen.
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Just kidding, I would NEVER sucker punch anybody at a convenience store because not only is it true scumbag behavior but also because I respect convenience stores wayyyyy too much. They are a retail oasis full of everything people truly want but don't necessarily need; Snacks, drinks, and boner pills. Plus they all smell relatively the same despite being scattered all over this great country of ours.
I recently found out I have a 10/10 convenience store five minutes from my house and it makes me smile every time I think of it.
So in closing I rebuke the sucker puncher, hope the sucker punched is okay, and hope Purple Guy's brain was finally able to digest what the fuck happened behind him because I know I would've been confused until my dying day.
P.S. If we are being honest, my body is much closer to the fella in the purple than the actual puncher, who kinda resembles if Trent and I had a kid. However my calves are much better than Mr. Purple's calves. Johnny Drama would cum himself looking at my calves.