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Queen Elizabeth Had More International State Secrets Than Anyone In Human History

Now, listen. I don't know if that fact in the title is totally true. In fact, I'm not sure that is something you could prove even if you wanted to but it's certainly within reason right? 

This old bird started being the Queen in 1952. After that, she sat on the Crumpet Throne for 70 fucking years. In that time, there were sixteen heads of Mi-6, the British Intel Agency, and she was once the head of state of 32 separate countries. Although that number dropped to 16, she still had a ton of information. 

Let's just take a look at some of the conflicts that happened during her time as Queen:

Korean War 1952-53

Kenya Emergency, 1952–1960

Cyprus Emergency, 1955–1959

Vietnam War, 1955–1975

Suez Crisis, 1956

Brunei Revolt, 1962–1963

Indonesian Confrontation, 1963–1966

Aden Emergency, 1963–1967

'The Troubles', 1969–1998

Falklands Conflict, 1982

Gulf War, 1990–1991

Sierra Leone Civil War, 1991–2002

Bosnian War, 1992–1995

Kosovo War, 1998–1999

War in Afghanistan, 2001–2021

Iraq War, 2003–2011

Libya Conflict, 2011–present

Syria Conflict, 2011–present

Yemen Conflict, 2014–present

Global Coalition to Defeat ISIS, 2014–present

To me, that seems like a lot but I wonder if she even gave a fuck. Being so isolated from the rest of the world for your entire life, how would you develop empathy? How would you even fake caring about others when you have an entire staff that will move a pen if it's in a spot on the table that bothers you? I don't think you could. You'd be so far removed from the struggle that you'd have no idea what it even felt like. Kinda sad but whatever. 

Anyway, we roasted her and the entire royal family. Check it out. King Charles will never be our real dad.