NEW: Bussin' With the Boys Dad Merch CollectionSHOP NOW

Advertisement

Dr. Jameis Winston Put On A Masterclass About The Human Anatomy

Holy shit. Jameis just cracked the code. That right there proves that we're living in a simulation. I mean how else can you explain that? Your ankles are the wrists of your legs. Your shoulders are the hips of your arms. Your knees? I couldn't believe it when I heard it, but they're actually your leg elbows. It's wild that nobody has been able to put this together until now, but that's why Jameis Winston is one of the most beautiful minds in human history. 

This shocking revelation opens up the world to an endless amount of possibilities. With how symmetrical our bodies are, imagine a world where people are walking around with arms for legs and legs for arms. 

Wait. Nevermind. Simpsons already did it first. 

Advertisement

I'll still give the credit to Jameis, though. The man got Lasik eye surgery and clearly it opened up his 3rd eye. I'll take that over a quarterback who takes a bunch of drugs and trips balls all the time just so he can act like he's deep and spiritual. Jameis doesn't need drugs to gain all the insight and wisdom that life has to offer. He doesn't trip balls, he just launches them. Sometimes to the wrong guys but that's neither here nor there.

Sidenote: Why would anybody spend the money it costs to go to med school when you can just go to Saints press conferences and learn the exact same things for free? Bad day to be the Tulane University School of Medicine. 

@JordieBarstool