Cue the Duckboats | Championship Collection for Banner 18SHOP NOW


A Mid-Season Form Belichick Reminds Everyone He's Here to Win, Not Do a 'Science Lab Experiment'

Maddie Meyer. Getty Images.

Now that I look back on this summer, I can see one steady, consistent theme to it. One through line that lasted consistently from Memorial Day right through Labor Day. I heard it pretty much everywhere I went. From good people, no matter where I went. From beaches to training camp. From grocery stores to breweries. From comedy shows to walking out of Sunday Mass. From DMs on Twitter to DMs on SpaceBook and InstaFace. From Newport to Cape Cod to the Finger Lakes to Nantucket. 

Everyone was asking variations on the same question, which can be summed up with, "What is Bill thinking?" They didn't even have to say which Bill. It was understood who they meant without clarification. 

It's been such a common theme, I wish I'd marketed it. Sold t-shirts with "Summer of Doubt & Fear" on the front and tour dates on the back. And to all those decent, friendly, well-meaning folk who took the time to say hi, I have an answer for you now that echoes what I told you then. Only this time, it's courtesy of the man himself. 

Belichick made his weekly appearance on WEEI and was asked a slightly different variation on the question. And despite my best efforts, put it better than I've managed to: 

“We’re not going out there trying to have a science lab experiment. We’re trying to go out there and win games. I think as you play games and compete against other teams, you see maybe where your strengths are, and where teams are trying to attack you and how you’re holding up in those areas. We’re trying to go out there and be as competitive as we can, but at the same time we’re trying to take a close look at what’s happening and how it’s all playing out.”

Again, I don't know who needs to hear this, but since it's probably pretty much everyone, here goes. Despite the fear and loathing that's been beaten into the populace by media types who have been tearing down the Dynasty that Belichick built even during the best of times like it was their mission in life, he wasn't caught with his elastic waist band pants down when Josh McDaniels left. He'd been planning for it. Just like he did when other members of his brain trust left. Like when Nick Caserio went to Houston and Brian Flores to Miami. And on and on, stretching back 20 years. And dozens of his assistants. Including, of course, Matt Patricia and Joe Judge. 

And since both of them returned - in failure, I'm perfectly willing to add that - they've had his faith and confidence. If they didn't, they wouldn't have been hired back. For sure, they wouldn't still be here. It's not like he's spent months intelligently going over the details and nuances of the offense he's decided to install, only to get a big, stupid "Ahhh DOYYYY" from his top two assistants:

Giphy Images.

… and just decided to stick it out with them just because they're pals. Out of some perverse sense of loyalty. 

Belichick is the most calculating, cold-blooded, and heartless competitor on the planet. On that, we can all agree. He would take Patricia and Judge to his cavern under the Gillette lighthouse and rip their beating hearts out of their chests if he thought it would please Kali Ma and improve his playoff seeding. After all this time we've spent hearing how ruthless, disrespectful and arrogant sumbitch HC Bill is, to suggest now that he's a big softee who's willing to fail just to keep his buds on the payroll is worse than ludicrous. It's disingenuous. 

He's here to do whatever it takes to win, not dick around with experiments. As always. He's obsessed with adding another banner to the south end zone, not winning a Science Fair ribbon with the baking soda volcano his dad made. Just because there were times in August where it wasn't looking good, is no reason to be convinced it's a disaster in the making but he's too naive/stubborn/stupid to prevent it from happening.

Besides, even if it was a science experiment (which it is most definitely not), who better to conduct it than the only football coach in the world who was able to master the Ideal Gas Law and educate the world on it?


In Professor Bill We Trust.