50th Annual FDNY vs. NYPD Hockey Heroes Game from UBS Arena - TODAY at 4:15pm ETWATCH HERE

Every Single McDonald's In The UK Will Be Closed On Monday In Honor Of The Queen's Passing, Which Is An All-Time Posthumous Power Move By Her Majesty

You know how they say Waffle House being open or closed is the perfect indicator for how bad a hurricane will be?

Well I think all McDonald's in a country being closed because of the passing of someone is the ultimate indicator for how important that person was. I didn't think the Golden Arches closed for no man or woman, regardless of their job title, importance to humanity, or standing in any monarchy. Well apparently being the Queen of England for decades was enough to do the trick, which has to be a double bummer for the English considering their food is anywhere between bad and horrid depending on who you ask. So losing a reliable place like McDonald's for breakfast and lunch has to hurt.

However, I don't want Ronald McDonald to think I didn't notice that 5 PM opening time. The Queen needs to be remembered but not to the point of missing out on all the money that comes with that dinner rush of millions hungry and sad UK'ers(?) that couldn't get their paws on a Royale With Cheese even if they wanted to. In fact, if Waffle House is the indicator for a hurricane's strength that means McDonald's is the indicator for a region's willingness to spread its legs for that capitalistic D, with this picture of the first McDonald's opening after the Iron Curtain fell being the official end of communism in Russia.

I was trying to think of any American whose death could cause every McDonald’s to close in the US but I couldn’t think of any. Maybe The Rock? Not sure what that says about the state of America or the Americans living in it.

P.S. For what it's worth if I somehow became King of England due to some outrageous series of events, I would want all McDonald's not only to be open in my memory after I died but I would want everyone given a 10 piece Chicken McNuggets with Sweet & Sour Sauce, large fries, and either large Coke or Orange Drink since that is the perfect order in my opinion. I'll also allow combining said Orange Drink with Sprite since the combo packs an incredible 1-2 citrus punch that softens the power of the notoriously spicy Sprite at McDonald's.  

I would also ask that breakfast be served all day for people that want it and every restaurant that claims to have a broken ice cream machine be given a brand new one by orders of the recently deceased King.

P.P.S. Me becoming the King of England due to some random clause would be the real life version of King Ralph, which I remember as a delightful movie when I watched it as a kid.