There is absolutely no excuse for how horrible last night's Men Tell All episode of The Bachelorette was. Normally the Men/Women tell all episodes are some of the best of the season - we get fights, we get people in the hot seat, everyone is called out on their bullshit. Not this time! Instead, we had nonstop ABC programming ads and stupid, kitschy activities. They even made a point to make it "less mean." When I think of network TV, especially when it's this bad, you automatically think of the "audience" the show is serving. Sure, The Bachelor has a lot of play in the middle of the country, in typical middle class households, as well as the snobby/elite viewers on the coasts. In what world, would anyone with even the slightest tinge of metropolitan prowess want to be subjected to slapstick, messy, gross "gameshow" comedy? The only way to describe how I felt last night is to compare it to that of Matilda's parents:
Last night I felt like I was sitting in front of an old television with my white trash TV dinner, expected to laugh and carry on over loud noises, bright lights and gross food being poured onto shirtless bodies. This is what was supposed to "entertain" me. WELL, ABC, WE ARE NOT ENTERTAINED!!! We are smarter than this! Why are you trying to turn our brains to mush with this bawdy bullshit? As Eliza Dushku said in the cult classic Bring It On, how about something that actually requires neurons? Next time you try to pull this shit, I'm going to blow the TV up with my mind, too.
Catch up on last night's Cutting Stems where we spent the full 30 minutes ripping apart the state of this show, and our desperate cries for a revamp.