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Baseball Fans Vs Tiko Texas; Surviving Barstool Season 2 Episode 1

"BEEP BEEP!" the New York traffic was at a complete standstill. A multi car accident that just happened in front of us was now completely blocking all the lanes. a 45 minute drive was slowly turning into a 2 hour drive from Bushwick Brooklyn, to Chelsea Manhattan, where Barstool HQ is located. I was getting so much anxiety and honestly couldn't deal. I had waited for so long to get casted on a Barstool reality show, just to have an incompetent Uber driver take several wrong turns, and seemed to not even care how late he was making me. Tara called me, and I couldn't hold it in any longer. Visibly upset, and regretting not have deciding to live in Manhattan, I shed a few angry tears. It seemed like I just couldn't win. My emotions were very high and all over the place. When I finally arrived at Barstool, I was greeted by everyone. Of course all the other baseball fans were already there. *The late excuse on voting me off is such bullshit, we live and work in the most traffic city the U.S. Come the fuck on!*  I was anxious when I arrived, and didnt really know what to expect. I scanned the cast. Kontent Kim, Eddie, Caroline, Grace, Jackie, Rudy, and Steven Cheah. Very interesting group. and we'd all be living at Barstool HQ together for the next few days.

 Upon my arrival, we were immediately thrown into a challenge, that threw everyone off guard. The challenge was to find 3 keys with your name on it in the pile of pillows and blankets, and put them in cups. "Ready set GO!" Clancy exclaimed. We jumped into the pile all hungrily scouring for the keys. I found a key. then as I was looking for another one, I saw one but Caroline saw it first and right in my face she threw it across the room. I couldn't be too mad, it was a game right. I ran to collect the key and started searching for my final key. Then I heard Clancy exclaim, "Jackie's found all 3 keys". I sighed with disappointment and dropped the pillow I was searching through. We all lined up. I was placed next to Jackie. With my menstrual cramps rising up at that very moment, I decided to reveal to Jackie that I was on my cycle. "Just so you know, Im cramping bad." is all I said. I already figured she wouldn't pick me to sleep in the Mattress Firm suite with her, as her boss is Kevin Clancy, the host of surviving Barstool, and my sworn enemy. Nothing could prepare me for what happened next. Jackie revealed that I was on my cycle to the entire cast and crew. (That was low, Jackie.) she then explained that she was not picking me, but Kontent Kim instead. Damn. Jackie if you're going to out my personal business about being on my menstrual cycle, than at least pick me, or don't mention it at all, as it makes you look like a bit of an asshole. (But as we learned in this episod, she's not #TeamGirl). 

We all then found places to sleep, I did a beeline for the talent room downstairs as the one upstairs seemed to far with my pounding cramps. I walked into the downstairs talent room to find Steven Cheah there. I almost walked back out but Steven encouraged me to stay. (THIS IS MY BIGGEST MISTAKE ON THE SHOW AND WOULD LATER BITE ME IN THE ASS). Steven and I got to know each other alot better, and eventually started talking alliances. He promised he wouldn't vote for me, I promised I wouldn't vote for him. Afterwards Grace came up with a funny game for all us to play together, as players were asked questions and the best answer picked by the players would win the game. (Grace won, of course.)

After the game, everyone went to sleep and me and Cheah retreated back to our room. We talked strategy and settled in, watching "The Devil Wears Prada" together and working on our work for Barstool until we both eventually went to sleep after a few hours.

 The next morning was cool and quiet, I woke up and started getting ready for the day. The challenge was getting eggs onto a Mattress Firm bed, through a barb wire. I was hoping my long nails would help me, but in the end they hurt me, and I lost the challenge. Jackie was the winner and safe from elimination. I felt sick to my stomach about it, as me and her had a bit of a 'beef." Everyone got lunch afterwards and then went separate ways. I settled into my room, worried. Lost in my thoughts. Eddie came by and told me people were gunning for me. (GO FIGURE.) I tried to sus out if he was willing to do an alliance with me. But Eddie kept it pretty neutral, honestly. He never really directly said he'd work with me, but he was giving me info about the vote. I was confused about it and I didn't know how to feel. Eddie was the producer that contacted me to get me on the Dave Portnoy show last summer, which I pitched my podcast on. Thereby, indirectly helping me gain a job at Barstool. I did feel loyalty to him.

Later on that day, I walked in the stool scenes room of all the women to hear them talking on the vote. I decided to spin it, saying we as women should vote for a man to get out, since we had the numbers. The only thing I liked all the men there, in some roundabout way. But Steven was the only one I had an established "alliance" with, out of the 3. Caroline and Jackie pressed me for a name. I knew they were both close to Rudy, which left only Cheah and Eddie. I didn't want either of them to go. I couldn't be the one to say it first. Caroline eventually threw out Eddie's name first, and we all went along with it. I felt bad as fuck afterwards, but this was a game right? There could only be one winner. I walked out sad that Eddie was the new target but what could I do? Just as Eddie exclaimed to me earlier, "I gotta go with the majority." (But as we found out Eddie was recording the entire conversation.)

The next few hours were tough and long. When I saw Eddie, I knew that he knew that he was the new target as he couldn't look me in my eyes. That broke my heart and I started questioning the decision that we had made. I then tried to get to girls to not vote Eddie out, but they were already convinced. I felt helpless. The girls got in the room together and finalized the vote. As I was walking to the bathroom, I saw Jackie run upstairs with O'Malley and Caroline. Sus. I decided to run and follow them. Jackie came up with some bullshit ass excuse and we all walked away. I felt very suspicious at this point and didn't know how to feel. I felt paranoid, and emotional. The game was really beginning to get to me and completely fuck with my brain. I severely tried to calm myself down and made my way into the voting area. We all stood there, waiting. All of a sudden, my only alliance Steven Cheah whispers into my ear "Caroline's gunning for you. She's trying to make a power move against you. We're all voting Caroline." I didn't wanna believe it, but then the situation of the girls running to talk without me kept popping up in my brain. That actually seemed plausible. I felt so torn. and I genuinely believe that I was just happy it wouldn't be Eddie or me. I mulled over what Cheah said to me, and almost immediately confronted Caroline. I wish I would have. I expressed what Cheah told me to Grace, and she said "I don't know about that, Im just sticking to the plan." Caroline came out of the bathroom and I tried to study her behavior. Caroline was the one I knew the least and I just didn't know what to think.

 "Time to vote!" Logan, our producer yelled. We all made our way to the set for the ceremony. My hands were sweating, My body was shaking. What do I do? The 5 minutes before the vote felt like the most intense thing I had ever experienced in my life. I literally felt like I wanted to PUKE. Clancy asked Caroline if she knew who she was voting for, she replied "I thought I knew, but now I don't." Further cementing my paranoid thoughts that she was gunning for me. I looked at Steven next to me. I know we had a early "alliance", but can I actually trust him? He's not really a friend, but more like a robot. I looked over at Caroline, and she seemed unreadable. Everyone went in to vote, and I tried to convince my brain to vote Eddie. I had no other choice. But as I looked at Eddie's sad face sitting on the log, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I loved Eddie truly and I didn't want to have to write his name on the paper. "Tiko! You're up!" The 20 yards to the voting room felt like a football field. I walked up to put in my vote and my hands were shaking. Do I stick with the girls plan or do I go with what my only established alliance told me. In the end, my naive southern hospality fucked me over, as I trusted Cheah's word. "C A R O L I N E." I wrote on the paper, thereby sealing my fate. 

When the votes were called out, and I kept seeing my name, I knew I got fucked over really badly but I wasn't sure at the time by who. (my mind was all over the place, please forgive me Tiko Gang.) Time seemed to stop and fast forward at the same time as Clancy read the votes. The final results were in. 3 votes for Eddie. 4 votes for Tiko. 1 vote for Caroline. My heart was gutted. I sent myself home. I immediately teared up, and felt so much disappointment in myself. Dave Portnoy, my guy, was anticipating my reality TV debut, and I let him down. Tommy Smokes was one of my closest people at Barstool, and I let him down. I let myself down. I let my family down. I let Tiko Gang down. I grabbed my torch, and walked over to Clancy, and decided to pull a Zah, telling everyone "fuck you!" before I left the set. I left the set in a angry haze, knocking over things on the way out. The facts started to settle in my brain, I had got shot to death by a robot that I trusted. I looked at my phone to see a text from Caroline.

We then decided to have a conversation about it directly after the voting ceremony. Which revealed that indeed Cheah had lied on her name. Caroline then was very upset and decided to confront Steven, and even get in his face. She didn't like that she was a pawn in his robot game. I was over it and then grabbed my suitcase and headed out the door. When I arrived home, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't think. The whole day, the whole experience was turning me insane. I tried to work but couldn't focus on anything, not even able to roll up to calm my nerves. It was just a game right? Then why does it feel like my heart got ripped out of my chest. I did expect the baseball fans to eventually vote me out, but it was how it was done by someone that I trusted that I couldn't come to terms with. It's a never ending lesson, that I never learn. I let people get in my head, I trust too easily. Im too naive. Tears stained my satin blue couch, as I couldn't bring myself to even make it to my bedroom. I was born for reality TV, yet I let my own self down. For 5 days straight, I couldn't stop replaying what happened in my head. I torturted myself about my decisions. I felt like I have so much star power to show, but yet I couldn't get it together. It might just be a game to y'all, but to the players, it felt literally like life or death. Shit. What a series, what a company. I feel blessed to work at such an amazing company and I feel good knowing that ill take what I learned onto the show, into both my personal life, and my career life as well. I might be eliminated but my journey has merely just began. and no matter what, Season 2 ep 1 could never ever leave my memories, in both a bad and good way. That's life for ya right?  There's a few more surprises up my sleeve Tiko Gang. Dont count me out just yet.