Surviving Barstool | Ep. 4 Premiere Now StreamingWATCH ON DEMAND

I'm Immediately Moving This Pizza Dough Slinging Wrestler To The Top Of My WWE Draft Board

It's been a while since I've been fully invested into professional wrestling. Probably since I was 8 or 9 years old. But that's because in those days, pro wrestling was filled with stars. Guys like Stone Cold, The Rock, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels, Triple H. That generation then gave way to guys like John Cena, Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio coming in. The sport had superstars to draw you in and keep you hooked. 

I wouldn't be able to give you the name of one single new wrestler right now. The WWE roster right now looks like how the NFL would be if Jake Fromm was the best QB in the league. No offense to Jake Fromm or anything but I needed to make a point. Pro wrestling needs a superstar. They need a generational talent who transcends the ring and becomes one of the biggest names in all of sports. The WWE needs The Pizza Man. 

This is one of the finest displays of showmanship I've ever seen. It's a tragedy that he's performing in a hotel conference room in front of like 11 people. The Pizza Man can and should be selling out major arenas all across the world. And just think about the endless possibilities here. 

Obviously he can smack his opponents around with his traditional crust pie. But sometimes he can break out the thick crust, sometimes he can have a special move with a deep dish. Instead of beating his opponents with a metal chair, he can smack the shit out of them with a giant wooden pizza peel. Toss a little flour in their eyes to stun and distract them and then bam, pizza peel to the grill. He can rub himself down with some pepperoni before a match to be all nice and greasy and elusive out there in the ring. The list goes on and on. 

The fact of the matter here is that a star was discovered in that ring. The Pizza Man has what it takes to go down as one of the greats, all he needs is a chance. And a brick oven.