I don't think I'm saying shocking when I admit I know next to nothing about Australian Rugby. I know a lot more about Quidditch, and can speak with some knowledge about the points system involving Bludgers, Quaffles and Snitches than I can Aussie Rugby.
But this is my second blog on the subject this month for one simple reason. I say humbly I'm quite the expert when it comes to writing about athlete's sexual hijinks. Particularly the hilarious ones. Such as the time Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs Michael Lichaa walked into the backyard at a party he and his fiancee Kara Childerhouse were throwing, to find her going down on his teammate Adam Elliot:
As that news report indicates, Lichaa was charged with domestic violence after that incident, but was acquitted after Childerhouse didn't show up to court. He testified all he did was punch a window and leave the house. And he was supported by testimony from his new Eskimo Brother, Elliot. "Bulldogs before Bullhos," and all that.
Now Lichaa is in therapy to learn how to manage his perfectly understandable rage. He did testify he can't get the image of his fiancee giving his former friend head (welcome to the club), but he does seem to have moved on and has a new, presumably monogamous fiancee. So that was the end of the story.
However, this story has a prequel. Which some Aussie Barstool readers alerted me to:
DM: Jerry, big stoolie from Australia here. Also a Rugby League fan and wanted to add some context that makes your Rugby teammate almost dying blowjob story all the better.
Adam Elliot has a notoriously monstrous hog. Stuff of legend. So much so that the man was caught on the job with a womens Rugby player (Millie Boyle, elite player, smokeshow at that) in the toilets at a club event. Multiple other schlong related scandals. His nickname is the Sheriff for good reason.
The man’s hog has been getting him in the papers for years. Feel good story from this - after a shitstorm of controversy, he and Mille are happily together and playing for the same club (Newcastle Knights) next year.
The Sheriff always wins.
DM: Jerry I’m Australian and the rugby story you posted gets better. The bloke receiving is known for having biggest dick in the sport & was also caught having sex with a female player in a bar toilets
So the plot thickens. Along with Adam Elliots impressive man parts. From 2021:
News.com.au - A liaison with NRLW star Millie Boyle at a Gold Coast restaurant is reportedly behind the Bulldogs’ decision to stand down Adam Elliott for the rest of the season as more details of the alleged incident come to light.
On Monday, Canterbury confirmed it was co-operating with the NRL Integrity Unit regarding an investigation into Elliott being asked to leave a restaurant on Sunday afternoon.
It has since been revealed management at the venue asked Elliott to leave after he was discovered in the men’s bathroom with Boyle.
The Sydney Morning Herald reports the pair were kissing in the bathroom because they did not want to be seen by wives and partners of other Bulldogs players at the restaurant.
Yahoo - Boyle has since confirmed there was no foul play or drugs involved, and that the pair had snuck away for a kiss after having grown up together.
Regardless, Canterbury general manager Phil Gould reaffirmed on Wednesday that Elliott could still be sacked as he remains stood down pending an NRL integrity unit investigation.
Gould has also made no secret that the forward is paying the price for a multitude of issues, including a 2018 Mad Monday scandal.
Making matters worse for the 26-year-old is the fact that rumblings of discontent are growing louder at the Bulldogs, where a section of the playing group is understood to be furious with the forward.
"Rumblings of discontent are growing louder" over a bathroom makeout sesh while all the other players are sitting with their wives? Imagine how loud they got after Elliot was putting the ball into the future Mrs. Lichaa's wide open goal? It staggers the imagination.
So for a little perspective, let's get a scouting report on Millie Boyle:
Let's hear it for the Sheriff and for Millie.
And also for the Australian Stoolies who took the time to put this on my cultural radar. That NRL Integrity Unit certainly sounds like a collection of buzzkills. But these Aussie fans, The Sheriff, and Millie certainly know how to have a good time. As does Kara Childerhouse. Like I said when the original story broke, I wish we had a scandal like that going on here in the States. That shit would blog itself. But until we do, it's incumbent upon me as a professional to spend more time following Australian Rugby. I've been missing out.