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Scottie Scheffler Has A Commanding Lead At The Tour Championship Despite Dealing With A Debilitating Injury: AN INFECTED ASSCRACK

From the Golf Digest article above:

“Probably TMI,” Scheffler said before revealing that during the weekend of the Open Championship at St. Andrews, he was suffering from what he called “an infection at the top of your butt crack.”

It was not at all funny to Scheffler, who played through some serious pain, shot 74 on Sunday and still managed to tie for 21st. Scheffler first described it as a “weird little injury” when trying to explain how he’d bounced back from missing the cut in the first FedEx Cup Playoffs event in Memphis. But an intrepid reporter followed up on what “weird little injury” meant, and Scheffler spilled it.

“Yeah, I didn't ever really plan on telling anybody,” he said. “It's kind of one of those things you put on the back burner, and it's stuff that happens. Guys deal with injuries over the course of the season, and that one popped up at a wrong time for me when I was playing really well.”

The name of the condition, Scheffler said, is a pilonidal infection. The Mayo Clinic describes it thusly, “Pilonidal cysts usually occur when hair punctures the skin and then becomes embedded. If a pilonidal cyst becomes infected, the resulting abscess is often extremely painful. The cyst can be drained through a small incision or removed surgically.”

Google it if you’re so inclined, but not before dinner. The photos ain’t pretty.

“It was really hard for me to bend down. It was really hard for me to make a swing on Sunday. Walking was actually extremely difficult, “Scheffler said.

“I don't know if any of you have ever had something like that, but if you talk to someone that does, it is excruciatingly painful. It was brutal.”

Of course, there was one more probing follow-up question. Did Scheffler know how he got it?

The answer: “Yeah, I'm not going to say it here. I'll tell you after because that would really be TMI.”

First off I gotta extend my sincerest apologies to Scottie Scheffler for that headline. Scottie seems like an upstanding dude. On the straight and narrow, good ol Texas boy who keeps his nose clean and treats everybody with respect. Guy doesn’t deserve to have gruesome headlines about him blasted all over the internet.

I can’t quite say the same about myself. I’m the one writing a blog about a golfer with sore ass. I deserve the worst. But facts are facts and pageviews are pageviews. Scottie’s got an infected ass and I’ve gotta write about it.

What I’m curious about is why he spilled his guts here. By all means he seems to be on the up and up. Injury isn’t holding him back as much as it was last week. From this angle it just seems like one of those things ya just had to share with the boys. Somewhere buried in every guy’s Y chromosomes (or X chromosomes… or however the fuck chromosomes work that make a dude a dude. You get it) is a compelling need to tell the fellas when you’ve got somethin real disgusting going on. I call it the “smell my hand” principle. 


And while Scottie’s not quite there as to how he got that infection, it may just be a matter of time until we find out. A couple nudges just might do the trick. And I’d be lying if I said I’m not dying to know. I call it the “I’ll smell your hand” principle. 

Spill it Scottie!!!