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Japan Has A Crisis On Their Hands: They Don't Booze Anymore And It's Hurting The Economy

In a late-summer “Sake Viva!” contest, the country’s National Tax Agency is trying to promote alcohol consumption among younger people, as The Guardian reports. It’s calling for 20- to 39-year-olds to submit their ideas for innovative products and packaging for alcoholic drinks. Entrants are even encouraged to venture into the metaverse with ideas that might pique their peers’ interest.

The purpose behind the campaign? Raising tax revenue. Japan’s tax-funded projects have suffered in recent years, and it’s estimated that the nation’s budget currently sits at a ¥48 trillion ($349 billion) deficit

Japan is in a crisis of being fucking lame. 

Times are tough in Japan. They've had 30 YEARS of virtually zero economic growth. They were hit hard by the pandemic. They're being surpassed by other Asian nations in electronics and manufacturing. The biggest problem they face though is cultural. Nobody drinks in Japan and nobody fucks either

I don't want to come off as xenophobic here, but America is the answer to all of Japan's problems. We've made a celebrity out of this man

And we fuck so much that our population was OUTRAGED when the highest court in the land said that individuals no longer had the constitutional authority to kill babies. What Japan needs to end their crisis of low population and not enough drinking is an immigration program with America. We have a shit ton of college grads in this country whose only skill and only passion is drinking and chasing women. Just import them. Make that their job. Send them over. Give them housing. Have our young men teach their population the ways of drunk unprotected sex. It's the only way to boost the Japanese economy. More mustaches, more mullets, more chugging, more babies, more alcohol sales. It'll be a reinvented Peace Corps or Doctors without Borders. Drunkards without condoms. I think I just saved a great nation.