Aaron Hicks Is Statistically The Worst Player In Major League Baseball

Carl wrote a blog earlier today promoting his latest Starting 9 episode and titled it 'ATTENTION Yankees Fans: Stop Whining.' It was a blog that served its purpose of triggering our fanbase to clicking and seeing his latest episode. It was brilliantly orchestrated to get views and I have no choice but to tip my cap there. Respectfully though Carl, go fuck yourself. 

The thing is Yankee fans are more than warranted to complain about this team's play over the last two months. It's more than a lull, it's what we always feared this team would be entering 2022. I detailed what needs to change in my blog yesterday, but we're here to talk about one individual player who is trying to put me intense therapy. 

Aaron Hicks. Watch Aaron Hicks play everyday and tell me to my face I have no right to complain. 

I've long waited for the day that Aaron Hicks' tenure with the Yankees comes to an end. The Yankees said before the season they needed to upgrade centerfield. They passed on that idea and decided to ride with this asshole for another year. Heading into the season Hicks told the media he could be a 30/30 guy and said it with a straight face. The result? Hicks has regressed to being the worst player in all of baseball. I don't say that exaggerating either, he statistically is the worst position player in the game. 


Need more evidence? Just look at what happened last night.

The catch probability on that ball to center? 95%. Fuck me directly in the face. That led directly to the Rays first run of the game and their eventual victory. 95% fly balls and we can't get the out. I got this guy turning around like he's in a goddamn mirror maze and can't find his way out. We don't deserve this shit. 

In vintage baseball fashion the moment found Hicks in the very next half inning with a chance at immediate redemption. Want people to forget about your massive fuck up? Get a hit with the bases loaded. Hell, just hit a fucking fly ball to the outfield and tie the game. What did Hicks do? What he does best….

Again not an exaggeration either. Hicks is the best in the game at hitting into double plays with the bases loaded. 


Having to watch Aaron Hicks play baseball this year has honestly caused me to enjoy the sport less. He's killing my love for the sport. Harrison Bader was traded for at the deadline to replace him, but unfortunately he's still weeks away at best from coming off the IL. When he arrives it'll honestly feel like Jesus is here. I know Bader isn't a strong hitter, but his energy and incredible defense in center will be more than enough to please me. Honestly I'd play him right now with a walking boot over Hicks. I can't take it anymore. 

The analytics nerds LOVE Hicks and have battled fans like myself on social media for years. They tried to tell us for so long how valuable he was to this team. I wanted them to be right. I obviously want the players on the Yankees to succeed and help them win, but they couldn't have been more wrong here just as they were so wrong about Joey Gallo. Hicks had one good month sprinkled in-between the other atrocities. Now with Gallo gone there's no one to hide him. He is a miserable player to watch play this game no two ways about it. Please get out of my life. 

Entering tonight Hicks is 5 for his last 53. I'm very excited for the lineup to come out in a few hours and see Hicks leading off. Shoot me.

P.S. Please don't remind me how many years are left on his deal. Fucking Cashman.