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Kenny Pickett Leads Game-Winning Drive, Basically Tells Steelers Coaches To Get Fucked For Having Mason Rudolph As QB2

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OK so maybe "drive" is a little dramatic if we're talking about what Kenny Pickett just did in his first preseason action. He started on the Seattle 43 after a fumble with 1:10 left on the clock. But still!!! Dude delivered a strike for a winning tuddy to send the newly-christened Acrisure Stadium into a frenzy.

The longtime Pitt Panthers signal-caller who was with the program for so long I was wondering if it was some sort of Mandela Effect happening wound up landing with the franchise right in his backyard. And damn if this isn't a hell of a start for the young man. Just listen to and look at these fans. The greedy fuckin' ingrates. They had Big Ben from 2004 through 2021, won two Super Bowls and had not one losing season during that span. Now they want the adopted local product to take the reins right away and not even miss a step. Maybe even be an upgrade. Can the Steelers just go away for one year and lose more games than they win? Sheesh. It seriously feels some cosmic anomaly has to occur for Pittsburgh to lose damn game. 

Most of the training camp buzz regarding the Steelers' 2022 draft class has stemmed from the hype around their wide receivers: Calvin Austin III and especially George Pickens. The longtime roster incumbent who's beaten up Pickett for the backup job behind Mitch Trubisky to this point, Mason Rudolph, threw a 26-yard TD strike to Pickens earlier in the evening.

Good for you, Kenny Pickett. You pretty much removed your jock strap, put your nuts on the table and said, "You drafted me in the first round to sit behind Mitch Trubisky and MASON FUCKING RUDOLPH when I can do THIS!?!?!"

Or at least that's how I imagine the postgame dialogue is between Pickett and the Steelers coaching staff. 

Mike Tomlin and his permanent thousand-yard stare may need to burst forth from suspended animation to make an actual decision on the most important position on the field. Decent chance Tomlin was under hypnosis as Big Ben's career crashed to earth at the end. Succession plan? Never heard of her. 

Thankfully outgoing GM Kevin Colbert had the sense to do, you know, fucking SOMETHING to address the post-Big Ben era by drafting Pickett. Time will tell if Saturday's thriller was the start of something special for Pickett, or if he indeed was a sentimental, pure need-based draftee who can't even outplay Trubisky or Rudolph. My hunch is it's closer to the former outcome. It's still early and for some odd reason the Steelers are convinced more than the other 31 NFL teams combined that there's a potential All-Pro lurking behind the stupid, oh-so-punchable face of one Brett Mason Rudolph III.

Twitter @MattFitz_gerald and don't yell at me Steelers fans. If any of you still defend Mason Rudolph I don't know what to tell you. Use this night as a springboard to gas up Kenny P., I implore you.