What’s in the water in Miami? I’m all in on these new-look Dolphins because they’re clearly a bunch of fuckin weirdos, yet they have a TON of talent on the roster and are led by an ultimate weirdo head coach in Mike McDaniel. Got a special blog on him coming this weekend. I’m already captivated by the Fins due to McDaniel’s presence. This video has me even more intrigued about what they’re building down there.
First of all, for how high-profile a lot of these players are, I’m stunned how many of them are so giddy and eager to ham it up for cameras during the dog days of training camp. Like multiple dudes’ first reaction is apparently to bust into a handshake and say strange shit to each other? Weird flex but OK y’all do you!
I guess other than that football life is pretty normal to start this glimpse behind the scenes. For about a minute or so. Then, Jevon Holland starts chatting up fellow safety Brandon Jones in some super odd accent and we’re off to the races…
The following quote is real and is from defensive line anchor Christian Wilkins: “I had a hotboy summer I’m feeling good!” Teammate asks, “what’re you weighing?” Wilkins replies, “That’s not important.” CUT. If that’s not something you could pass off as "Bad Lip Reading" voiceover material with completely different real-life words, I don’t know what is.
Except then we’ve got new Fins tailback Raheem Mostert telling a coach, completely out of context, he’s a ghostwriter. Mostert makes a point to distinguish between the Marvel antihero Ghost RIDER, played by none other than…
Like why would you ever feature a player telling a coach he's a ghostwriter on a mic'd up segment with zero preceding dialogue? I'm baffled and yet my curiosity is eating at me. Mostert is featured a few more times throughout, always with something interesting to say. Dude is electric with the ball in his hands. Hope he stays healthy this year.
After we cut back to Wilkins for even more BLR-worthy words, we get plenty of Tyreek Hill. Before jumping to him, I guess I'd better supply an example of "Bad Lip Reading" in case you're a casual football fan who's stumbled upon this blog and somehow haven't seen these hilarious cutups:
I can see the NFL series spans at least nine years. Now I feel older than I ever expected or hoped to when I began this post. Back to the Dolphins Mic'd Up breakdown!!
The fact that Tyreek runs around the sidelines making no fewer than three proclamations about a kickball team and that’s the most normal thing to happen in this video other than football gives you an idea of just how unusual all this is. Don’t worry though, beyond flashing his sick talent between the lines, Tyreek gets on some semi-singing kick at some point to add to the madness. I think the Dolphins are just sorta delirious in the heat. Can’t blame ‘em.
I’m also pretty sure Wilkins is quoting Power Rangers right when some poor Miami coach is trying to give direction. It’s between Wilkins and Holland for Weirdest Dolphin superlative in my book.
The Bengals need to do this and let their freak flags fly. Come on guys! GIMME ALL YOU GOT. Most exciting things out of Cincinnati the past several days were the Paycor Stadium name change, Joe Burrow soft tossing, La’el Collins getting cleared and a Ja’Marr Chase one-handed catch. Hey cool I’m all fine with a relatively quiet camp, especially with everyone coming to dethrone the reigning AFC champs!
But yeah, these Dolphins are mysterious mammals and I dig it. Like I said, keep an eye out for some McDaniel-related stuff here soon. Hope you enjoyed how crazy this mic’d up was, but then again, whenever I blog about something I think is noteworthy, funny, or more than passably amusing, many of y’all just complain in the comments about how unnoteworthy, unfunny or not remotely amusing it is.
Come on now. We’re almost to football season. Won’t you take even the slightest bit of entertainment before the real games start? You know this is more aesthetically pleasing than the vast majority of preseason action.
Twitter @Matt Fitz_gerald — fun fact, Ryan Gosling wants to play Ghost Rider. If Marvel doesn't do a multiversal crossover with Nic Cage and Gosling as Ghost Rider variants, what are they even doing?