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Google Hates Green Text Bubbles Too

SOPA Images. Getty Images.

Apple CEO Tim Cook wouldn't piss on an Android user if they were on fire.

Not unlike the walled garden it's created with its App Store and iOS, Apple has done pretty much everything in its power to treat Android users like peasants. And, like most things it does, it's done a pretty good job. Just ask anyone who made the mistake of inviting an Android user to an iMessage group chat.

And now Google (friendly reminder: Google owns Android) is calling out the iPhone maker for its fuckery. After years of dealing with grainy images and videos from its friends with Apple phones, Google has launched a campaign begging Apple to "fix texting." It made a website and everything…

So what bones does it have to pick? The same ones everyone does…

  • Pics and videos that suddenly become more pixelated than early 2000s Taliban vids when they go from an Android to iPhone
  • The obnoxious green color text bubbles (that just scream "I'm poor") with white font that's tough to read (does this make Apple ableist?)
  • Read receipts, creepy "this person is typing" indicators, and other stalker type tech that crazy exes live for not working properly on interspecies texts (Android/iPhone)

According to the website that's full of shade (and reeks of desperation), Apple could pretty easily fix all of the issues. It's not a tech issue at all, it's a matter of Apple being a d-bag. Google made it pretty clear, in fact…

"The bad experience you get when texting Android users is created by Apple. But they can fix it by switching from SMS/MMS to RCS, the modern industry standard. And everyone’s experience would be better." (Android)

Apparently all these issues could go away with a few updates that can probably be done by an Apple intern on his second day on the job.

As a human being (and iPhone user) who occasionally befriends Android users, I think this needed to happen yesterday. It is arguably a top five "first world problem" (although I'm pretty certain they have iPhones and Androids in third-world countries too). 

Of course, if I was an Apple investor (I'm not currently, for the record), I'd love nothing more than iMessage cucking every beta with an Android. Creating moats is good for business and better for stocks. 

That said… change this shit, Tim Cook.

Snap necks and cash checks,


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