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60,000 Perverts Showed Up To See The First Beauty Pageant For Babies

The Twisted History of beauty pageants had all the potential in the world to be the creepiest and most disturbing episode to date, but surprisingly there was much less kid diddling in the long history of pageants than expected. Solid start! The first adult beauty pageant took place in 1854 and was canceled after people protested its immorality. 

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In 1855 the contest was rebranded by P.T. Barnum (The Circus Guy) as The National Baby Show and people went absolutely NUTS. With 143 baby contestants being shown off on stage, over 60,000 spectators traveled to come see the first of several National Baby Shows. Which is wholesome as fuck to think 60,000 people couldn't wait to travel for a couple of babies shown off on stage, but what else was there to do in 1855? Count to the highest number you know?

There is still debate as to wether or not young children should be in these beauty pageants, which I couldn't find two fucks to care if they completely got rid of them … until I realize there would never be the movie Little Miss Sunshine.

An incredible cast with a great story and an ending that satisfies. Kid beauty pageants creep me the fuck out and make me think kids are being taken advantage of, but this movie makes it seem like the greatest Grandpa / Granddaughter bonding experience between Alan Arkan and Abigail Breslin. How could you not love pageants after this?! 

Real pageants are pretty lame. It's like watching politicians answer questions on CSPAN, but everyone is in a bikini and actually believes they can change the world. The best thing to come out of one of these Miss America pageants is Steve Harvey fucking up and crowning Miss Columbia over Miss Philippines, but the internet skeptic in me says that was all fake to boost ratings. Stay woke.  

Beauty Pageants aren't my thing, but I'm sure Miss Bolivia would tell me to go fuck myself If I said cross country was a cool sport. Whether they are you thing or not, Pageants are a 4 BILLION DOLLAR / year industry and aren't going anywhere anytime