Lighten the Fuck Up! He was a Redneck & the First in His Family to go to College...
He was a full-fledged redneck and the first in his family to go to college…
By the time he started his second semester, the kid had foolishly squandered all his money on pizza and beer. So he called home…
“Dad," he said, "You won't believe what modern education has developed. They actually have a program here at the university that will teach our hound dog, Ol' Blue, how to talk!"
"That's amazing, son," his father replied. "How do we get Ol' Blue in the program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000, and I'll get him in immediately while there's still openings."
So, his father sent Ol' Blue to the university along with $1,000.
About halfway through the semester, the kid had squandered his money and was forced to call home again…
“So how's Ol' Blue doing, son?" his father asked.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm, but you won't believe this - they've had such good results teaching dogs to talk, they've started teaching them how to read!"
"Read!" his father said excitedly, "No kidding! How do we get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Just wire me another $1,000, and I'll get him in right away while there's still openings."
The money arrived promptly, but there was one foreseeable problem… At the end of the school year, when they arrived home, his father would find out Ol' Blue couldn't talk or read. It was a difficult decision, but just days before the end of the school year, the kid decided to give Ol' Blue away.
When he arrived home, his father was all excited, “Where's Ol' Blue? I can't wait to hear him talk and listen to him read!"
"Dad, I have something important to tell you… Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the student lounge, kicking back in the recliner and reading the Wall Street Journal, like he's been doing for a while now, when he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still shagging that cute little girl with the big boobs from across the street?'"
The kid's father, immediately concerned, looked his son squarely in the eyes and said, "I sure hope you shot that SOB, son, and before he had a chance to talk to your mother!"
*Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and flipping people off forever!)
This is LTFU Joke #110!
There's no better way to 'Lighten the Fuck Up' than doing it wearing LTFU/Vindog merch!