Italian Decathlete Finished Last In A Race Because, Well, His Dick Kept Coming Out Of His Shorts

First off, shout out Alberto Nonino for helping clear the Italian names. Pervs no more baby! Big win for anyone with Italian blood. Second, how about him being fast enough to pass people with his dick flopping around and trying to adjust? That's some special speed and gotta think he'd have a decent run if he wasn't pulling on his shorts. Now, I can't say I understand how this happens. Years - decades even - of playing sports and never once had a dick pop out. 

Probably due to a couple of reasons. Grew up in the 90s and 2000s. Shorts were down to my ankles and *shockingly* my dick does not reach that far. That's ESPECIALLY true while playing a sport. Shit shrivels up like you've been in a pool. So credit to Alberto for realizing he had some flop and had a quick reaction time. It's impressive really. We all know that feeling. We've all felt that little oh something needs adjusted. However, we feel that sitting around on our asses. Maybe when you go to stand and give a presentation. Not while running a 400m race. 

That said, ole Alberto here is taking it a bit *too* serious (h/t Post): 

“I just want to talk to you a little bit about the rumpus there’s been on blogs and social media in general,” Nonino wrote on his Instagram story. “I’m conscious it was obviously an accident and I’d like to tell you I’m aware of the reaction and you don’t need to send me the links to the blogs out there. I’m trying to laugh about it now but immediately afterwards I felt terrible and I’m thankful to my friends and family for helping me get over what happened a few hours later.”

Welcome to the Internet in 2022, man. You are going to get blogs. You will get jokes and then in about 3-4 hours we move on to something else. Sure, you don't need to see the reaction if you're an athlete, but you can for sure laugh about it. No one is sitting here blaming you for having your cock fall out. People are just ... making jokes. The Internet and really the world is a better place when we can crack jokes.