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It Doesn't Get More Beer League Than This

The moment you make the transition to playing beer league sports, you know you're never buying another piece of equipment again. There are dudes playing beer league right now who are still rocking the same pair of gloves today from 1993. You've got a wife and kids at home, you have a mortgage that's due on the 1st of every month, you've got a bunch of weddings coming up that somehow keep getting more and more expensive. So in the back of your mind you know that you're always just one broken stick away from retirement, or you're one ripped pair of gloves away from retirement, or you're one lost helmet away from retirement. 

What we are looking at here is a man who has been through war. He's been through countless wars, actually. The man doesn't even own a lacrosse helmet anymore, but that's not going to stop him from getting out there every Thursday to beat the shit out of some kids who just graduated from college. 

Black socks and black cleats tells me this man is most likely on his 2nd marriage and has a few assault charges to his name. The generic gloves tells me this man hasn't played competitive lacrosse since at least the Clinton administration. No elbow pads or shoulder pads leads me to believe that he hasn't even once questioned not being the biggest bastard out on the field at any given time. That's an apex predator right there. No need to defend himself when he has nobody else on the field to worry about. And of course, that brings us to the football helmet. Because he's a football guy at heart. Probably operating at a fight per game on the sidelines at his kid's flag football games every weekend. The dude just loves violence and gets off on wreaking havoc on others. 

So when you come across a dude who looks like this at your local beer league game?


Run as fast as you can. Because that's a bad, bad man who wakes up every Monday morning counting down the minutes until he can get out there and hurt others. Boss is a dick, his wife is always on his ass, his kids are driving him up a wall. He's got a lot of pent up frustration and the only outlet he can really unleash it all without his parole officer getting a call is his weekly beer league lacrosse game. There's not a single wrist that comes his way without getting hacked. The head of his stick is imprinted on at least half a dozen thighs at any given point throughout the game. He hasn't scored a goal in 5 years but he's sent 9 people to the hospital. That's what beer league is all about. Legend.