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A 99-Year-Old Grandma's Dying Wish Was For Her Family To Place A Giant 600 lb. Dick Statue On Top Of Her Grave

VICE- Before her death, 99-year-old Catarina Orduña Pérez had one final wish: a giant statue of a dick on top of her grave. Her family unveiled the completed monument — a 5-and-a-half-foot-tall cock and balls weighing nearly 600 pounds — mounted on her tomb at a cemetery in Mexico this past weekend as a “recognition of her love and joy for life.”

“She wanted to break the paradigm of everything Mexican, where things are sometimes hidden because of not having an open mind,” her grandson Álvaro Mota Limón told VICE World News in an interview. “She was always very avant-garde, very forward-thinking about things.” 

What's better than this? Gals being chicks. 

When I first saw that headline, I thought there was going to be some wiggle room about how much that tombstone actually looked like a dick. But there was no wiggle room for this muscle-bound monstrosity. 

Giphy Images.

The only way it could be any more of a dick is if you had a vein and maybe some hairs popping out, which admittedly would've been a bit much for someone's final resting place.

Anyway the moral of this story is that we need more people like Catarina Perez that have some fun with life and don't clutch their pearls every time they see something that upsets them. I'm not saying every Abuela's tombstone needs to be a 5 1/2 foot, 600 lb. cock rock or that there should exclusively be literal giant dicks in cemeteries around the world. 

But maybe there can be less figurative giant dicks amongst the living that get offended by anything that is more than PG-13. Or maybe, just maybe if you act like a giant dick your entire life, your family can put a giant dick on your grave to let others know what kind of person you were until this planet burns up in the sun. Shame is a hell of a motivator and nobody realizes that more than the Olds.

That's clearly not the case for Nana Perez however, who was both a trailblazer and by the looks of it, an absolute delight that tried to make the world a better place both in life and death.

RIP to an absolute legend.

Now I'll wrap this blog up in a way Mrs. Perez would've probably liked by sending it to the Dr. Evil penis rocket scene from Austin Powers, which was top shelf comedy during a Golden Age when the world laughed at itself a little more.