The Tomato Sandwich Is Officially The Barstool Jordie Sandwich Of The Summer
bhofack2. Getty Images.It's been a pretty big summer for heat waves. The past few weeks have been an absolute nightmare for all of us out there who sweat like crazy the moment the temps get above 70. Constantly living in fear of somebody giving you a friendly tap on the back and immediately shrieking out in horror about how wet your back is. Shit drives me insane. Your hand wouldn't be covered in my sweat right now if you would learn a thing or two about personal space in the summer. But no. Your dumbass just had to touch me, and now you're dealing with the consequence of your actions. Don't put the blame on me because you decided to be an idiot.
But I digress.
The point I'm getting at here is that it's been stupidly hot outside lately. Hot enough to the point where eating almost anything outside of some frozen treats seems like a daunting task. You want something cool, you want something refreshing, you want something delicious that isn't going to cause you to break out into another violent sweat. What you want is a tomato sandwich.
A couple slices of white bread. Some heaping spreads of mayo. A few thick cut slices of tomato. Salt. Pepper. Down the hatch. And if you want to get a little crazy with it, I'm preferable to this version of the tomato sandwich adding some basil, dill, and lemon juice.
Sweating your dick off on hole 9 on a golf course and the thought of trying to force down a hot dog makes you start dry heaving in the rough? Tomato sandwich. On the beach and need to get at least something into your stomach to make sure those 9 Miller Lites you just crushed don't destroy you? Tomato sandwich. There's truly not a single moment during a long, hot summer day when the tomato sandwich doesn't slap.
Don't get me wrong, the idea of just throwing a few slices of tomato on a sandwich does nothing for me in the fall and winter. That's when we can get as glutenous as we want. Load up the fattest sandwiches possible during football season. But when it feels like it's 105 outside with no breeze and you've already sweat through 3 different shirts before 2pm? Tomato sandwich is the go-to, and it's time for the TS to start to get the respect and recognition it deserves.