An attractive girl in her early twenties was standing on a street corner spitting and cursing when a little old lady walking by was immediately taken aback by her behavior. She found a cop and asked him to do something about it…
When the cop approached the girl, she was still spitting and cursing, "God damn it, that guy can fuckin' drive!"
The cop ordered her to stop spitting and cursing and then asked, "What's your problem?"
The girl continued spitting, repeating, "God damn it, that guy can fuckin' drive!"
The cop, now a little more forceful, demanded that she stop spitting and cursing and then asked her again, "What's your problem?"
The girl finally stopped spitting and cursing and explained, "I was hitching a ride when this guy stopped and picked me up in a gorgeous '66 red Corvette convertible. He took off with a screech; before I knew it, we were going over 100 miles per hour. I was scared half to death!"
"And…" the cop prodded.
"And, as we entered town, the guy slowed down to about 60, and I was relieved… But then we skidded into an alley where he accelerated and began picking up speed again…"
"Right in front of us were two delivery trucks parked on either side of the alley, barely seven feet between them. I yelled, 'We're gonna fuckin' die!'"
"Then, seconds before we were about to crash, I looked over at the guy, and in a panic, I screamed out, 'If we get out of this alive, I'll fellate you!'”
She paused for a moment, looked at the cop, continued spitting, and then repeated, "God damn it, that guy can fuckin' drive!"
* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and flipping people off forever!)
This is LTFU Joke #108!
There's no better way to 'Lighten the Fuck Up' than doing it wearing LTFU merch!