4th of July Collection | Now Available at the Barstool StoreSHOP HERE

Advertisement

Scientists Have Discovered A Pill That Makes All 1,400 Species of Venomous Snakes Little Pussy Ass Bitches (PABs)

David Clode. Unsplash Images.

Venomous snakes kill nearly 140,000 people worldwide every year, mostly children and farmers in developing countries, according to the World Health Organization. But their threat may be vanquished if a California doctor’s idea for a snakebite antidote, fostered by a $13.8 million Pentagon contract, proves successful this summer.

Dr. Matthew Lewin, an expert in expedition medicine, found in an existing drug, varespladib, a compact and affordable remedy for snake venom. The Pentagon paid to develop the antidote to shield U.S. troops from an occupational hazard, but it may benefit millions of people with little access to health care.

The trials involve treating 110 people with antivenom and either varespladib or a placebo, then looking for significant improvement in the patients treated with varespladib, according to clincaltrials.gov.

Unlike antivenom, varespladib, a “small molecule,” is available as a pill, requires no refrigeration and counteracts nearly all snake venom.

Antivenom provides an immune response by flooding the body with antibodies that bind with the venom and remove it from the victim’s body. It’s expensive, requires refrigeration and often produces unpleasant side effects.

Well goodness gracious. That's fantastic news for someone like me that is scared of snakes. I've lived in San Antonio for 13 years and each of those years has come with a fear that I'll move something in my garage or on my back porch or by a tree in my yard and a rattlesnake will appear. Luckily, I've only seen 3. 

Two of those times these big fucks were chilling by a neighbor's porch and they'd ask me to come get it. When a lady texts you to come get this snake off the porch, you do it even if youre scared. It's not always old ladies that come callin. My old neighbor Eric was kind of a bitch too. He called me once to get a rattlesnake off his porch. I looked at him differently after that but I smashed the huge rattlesnake with a long pvc pipe that was lying beside his house. That fucker was big and couldnt be hanging out in our neighborhood anymore. And I promise you one thing, I will NEVER relocate a rattlesnake. I'm way too scared for that. 

Anyway, it's great that this is gonna happen and I thought that before I knew how many people die each year from snake bites. 140,000 people. That's a shit ton. I would have put the over under at like 150. I just would have thought more people knew to stay away from these types of snakes. Guess not. 

Lastly, that's the second huge discovery by military medicine in the last two years. They are also developing a vaccine that protects against all covid variants. Here's what the Army says but I'm not smart enough to know what any of this means. 

A series of recently published preclinical study results show that the Spike Ferritin Nanoparticle (SpFN) COVID-19 vaccine developed by researchers at the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research (WRAIR) not only elicits a potent immune response but may also provide broad protection against SARS-CoV-2 variants of concern as well as other coronaviruses.

Scientists in WRAIR’s Emerging Infectious Diseases Branch (EIDB) developed the SpFN nanoparticle vaccine, based on a ferritin platform, as part of a forward-thinking “pan-SARS” strategy that aims to address the current pandemic and acts as a first line of defense against variants of concern and similar viruses that could emerge in the future.

All that news from Military medicine seems too good to be true. I'll need to see someone bit by every snake on earth before I believe this. Crazier things have happened, I guess. Like the Heiress of Thunder fighting in a boxing match. Alex The Heiress of Thunder Bennett. That's pretty good imo.