Idiot Researchers Are Bringing Spiders Back From The Dead And Giving Them Robotic Gripping Claws

Daily Mail

Researchers from Rice University in Texas pumped wolf spider cadavers with air to get their legs to unfurl and clasp around objects.

They discovered that the arachnid grippers were able to lift 130 per cent of their own body weight, and can manipulate circuit boards to turn off LED lights. A gripper can perform about 1,000 open-close cycles before its joints start to wear out, but the engineers believe it will last longer with a polymer coating.

Let me start this blog saying I despise spiders and just writing this story is causing me pain. I actually saw this story a few days ago but refused to do it out of complete fear, but here we are. Human civilization has resorted to the idea of bringing spiders back from the dead and turning them into robots. The researchers are calling them necrobots and they can fuck all the way off. 

Anything that involves bringing something back from the dead is ill-advised. Now we're doing it with spiders and giving them robotic grippers as well so they're super strong. So basically they're smaller versions of the sentinels in The Matrix? Oh cool. 

Let me be loud and clear, there is no scenario where this doesn't backfire. Zero. This sounds like one of those Black Mirror episodes that I go out of my way to not watch. I get that people are disappointed covid didn't end the world, but let's pause for a moment and realize what we're getting ourselves into. 

Did the scientists at Rice University not see the robot break Bobby Fischer's finger this week because of a wrong move? 

This only goes one of two ways. Either the spiders are gonna turn on us or an enemy country will hack into them and take us over.

What I've gathered here is there needs to be a common sense department attached to the super scientific invention program. Every "brilliant" idea they come up with needs to be approved by a commoner otherwise it's thrown right in the trash. 

Stop all these people and go back to trying to cure cancer.