Scientist Have Developed A "Pharmacy" That Is Implanted Under Your Skin And Gives You Medicine Instinctually And That Doesn't Sound Scary AT ALL- There's Nothing To Worry About AT ALL

The military is currently working with scientists to develop new technology to implant in soldiers. But this time it has less to do with creating superhuman assassins and more to do with quelling jet lag and diarrhea.

In May, researchers from Northwestern University signed a $33 million dollar contract with the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) to develop a wireless implantable device that will function as a “living pharmacy” for military personnel. It’s called a living pharmacy because everything the “patient” needs can be produced by their own body.

Called NTRAIN (Normalizing Timing of Rhythms Across Internal Networks of Circadian Clocks), the device is intended to control the body's circadian clock and eliminate jetlag, fatigue, and even gastrointestinal issues.

If successful, the implantable device could help populations beyond soldiers too, including shift workers, first responders, and the chronically ill. While it may sound like pure science fiction, the researchers behind the implant argue it may forever change how we treat diseases.


After reading the articles AND the scientific journal about this issue, my first suggestion is to read the mother fucking room, science. DARPA has all these insane ideas that they get gobs and gobs of funding for and not a single person wants this shit. Hell, the military is on the verge of kicking 60k people (from the guard and reserve) from the ranks for refusing to get the Covid vaccine. Imagine if you needed to put a fucking pharmacy in your arm. People would shit their pants. They might bring back Witch Trials. Head on a swivel if you're in the Salem area. 

I do admit that stopping diarrhea is huge. A great majority of troops have diarrhea. Hell, when Kate got Covid, she had diarrhea so bad that she had to clean it up with her socks. Cons has the opposite issue. Very gassy but constipated. No word yet on if the pharmacy can eliminate constipation or if loose stools are the only thing it can handle. Remember, we are at the early stages of this technology. 

That being said, I'm in on one condition. You gotta add medical marijuana to the internal medicine schedule. If I'm feeling stressed, that's a drop of weed. Feeling sad? That's a drop of weed. Anxious? Buddy, you already know that's a weed. Horny? That's for your first month of swipes for free.  

Anyway, I don't want motrin or antibiotics in my internal pharmacy but the fun stuff is fine. Do a little microdosing and some weed while cruising down the road without a care in the world in my autopilot-driving car? Sign me up. Full convo begins when you click play.