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Fast Food Restaurants Have "Sign War" And It's The Cringiest Thing In America

A McDonald’s And Dairy Queen In Missouri Are Having A “Sign War,” And Things Are Getting Real Messy Real Fast

McDonald's and Dairy Queen in Marshfield, Missouri started taking jabs at each other via their signs and you can tell it's the biggest thrill that town has ever seen, but it makes me want to puke. Marshfield holds a population of just under 7500, has no notable people born there or living there - unless you consider Joe Haymes a Swing Era Orchestra Leader born in 1907 a major celeb- and after this debacle I can't imagine an influx of people dying to relocate to this sleepy little town. However, you can already tell these dopes in Marshfield love this. I am sure the local pool is filled with parents and neighbors chatting it up about if you are "Team McDonald's"  or "Team DQ". I bet the local printing press (a town like this probably still has a printing press) is churning out t shirts, kids are begging their parents to take them to a drive through so they can see the signs, everyones having a good old laugh because two dopes in fast food restaurants keep making corny jokes on their sign board. Clown show. Makes me super grateful for living in a borough of New York City. For all the traffic and the chaos and the elevated rent and the bullshit you deal with, if I had to live in a town that's big story was fast food signs I wouldn't be able to survive. 

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Here's a full thread of the morons in Marshfield and all their "witty" lines...  I hate you. 

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Bonus points for people I hate ... the people weighing in on the town Facebook page 

Here's some comments I saw in the scroll that made me lose my breakfast : 

- My town is getting so much attention, I think it's time to put up my "no trespassing unless you're bringing me ice-cream or cheeseburgers" sign.

- Love it. Some are very cute. Like they asked McD “You mean your ice cream machine is actually working?” 

- This sign war needs to never end.  I want my kid’s kids talking about the sign war that went on for centuries

- I absolutely LOVE it! Nice to see my old hometown in the national news for something SO fun!

Giphy Images.