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When Roger Goodell Said He'd Give Up His Salary During Covid, He - I Cannot Stress This Enough - Was Lying

As the Covid pandemic recedes ever so slowly into the horizon we see on the world's rearview mirror, it's important to remember as much about how the events unfolded as humanly possible. To, as the vernacular goes, save the receipts. Because so many things were distorted and emotions were (and are) so raw, that a truly accurate history of the last few years is difficult, if not damned near impossible. 

Mostly what I want to remember is the way our wealthy, powerful, influential Masters of the Universe lied to us. While we hoi polloi were being carpet-bombed with messaging that used variations of a single word, told that we were going to get through this together, with the togetherness of togetherly shared sacrifice and togetherishness, those in positions of power made goddamned certain all that togetherness did not include them. That they were putting the "to get" in together, as in "to get back to doing whatever the hell we want."  So that's how we had elected officials here and overseas going on vacations to foreign countries, dining out at insanely expensive restaurants, getting salons to open up for their private hair appoints, throwing wild benders, and hitting nightclubs. They maintained privileged, lavish lifestyles, as the rest of us were stuck in our shabby apartments and losing our livelihoods. Together.

And perhaps none of them were as celebrated for promoting the ideal of togetherness as the titans of industry who made a big show of giving up their often exorbitant salaries in a show of solidarity with their rank-and-file employees. The lumpen proletariat.  Chief among them was Ginger Satan himself. 

But if you've been paying attention all these years, you should know where this is going:

Source - When the pandemic began in 2020 and the world turned upside down … Commissioner Roger Goodell slashed his salary to zero dollars and zero cents. That set the standard. It [led] the way. It made it easier to persuade many others to take a much smaller reduction.

As noted by Daniel Kaplan of, when the dust settled on the 2020-21 fiscal year, Goodell made $63.9 million — the same as he had made in the prior fiscal year. …

So how does that happen when salary is sacrificed? Commissioners get bonuses. Big bonuses. Huge bonuses. So it’s easy to give up salary when salary pales in comparison to the big-ticket item for the year.

To be clear, Goodell didn't invent the art of lying. That honor goes to his fellow snake in the grass from the Book of Genesis. But he has perfected it. He made a such a huge showing of making this fake sacrifice that he even got ME to let down my guard and grudginly give him credit:

Make no mistake, I still think Goodell is the focus of evil in the universe. But there's no debating this is a good thing he's done. Providing, of course, that the money is going to keep regular NFL employees on the job and help prevent layoffs. And not, say, to give money back to the billionaires or just as a symbolic gesture. As far as that goes, I'm going to do something I would never expect from him. I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt. The devil his $3.33 million/month due.

So in that spirit, I'm going to congratulate him for this. And forgo my right to say he's finally getting paid what he's worth. Because that would be inappropriate. You've done good, Mr. Commissioner. 

P.S. I don't use that muscle very often. I'm going to be sore in the morning.

Now, over two years later, those words are like poison in my mouth. I'm humiliated to have to admit I actually believed this deception. That I could allow myself to think he'd forgo anything in order to promote - the word again - togetherness with all the NFL employees who were mortal locks to lose their jobs. That I couldn't see the game of $64 Million Monte he was playing, where every dime of it was slid out from under the "salary" card and under the "bonus" card has me doing a lot of self-loathing at the moment. 

But not nearly as much as I hate him. I say again: We've lied to by a lot of people who either stayed rich through all of this or became rich, thanks to the lies they told. And Roger Goodell's birth was the punishment for mankind's sins. Never forget either of these truths.