Wayne Rooney Getting Paid $1 Million To Coach DC United Isn't Worth It Because His Wife Is Allegedly Sending A Chaperone With Him

So earlier this week it was announced that Wayne Rooney is coming back to DC United to be the manager and getting $1 million per year. Decent deal. 

However, it's not being reported that his wife is allegedly sending a chaperone with him because she's not/doesn't want to move back to America. Fuck that. Wayne Rooney is a grown ass man. $1 million per year simply isn't worth having the report out there that you need a chaperone. Can't imagine why. 

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Sorry for getting a little out of control at times! That's what famous English soccer players do. I don't know what else to tell you. Now it's for sure a bit of a lucky break that his wife wants to send her brother or one of his brothers. Feel like you can easily corrupt one of them to lie to her. 

I do gotta give credit to Rooney though. Derby was a fucking disaster for multiple reasons. He could have just hung out and been Wayne Rooney. Instead he's going back to DC United and I still remember this play from his time over here: 

Dude just wants to compete and win. I got a soft spot for that. But that said, me personally, I'm not dealing with a chaperone. There's enough shit going on in Rooney's personal life that you don't need this report too: 

Wayne Rooney might be climbing the list of dudes I want to party with after hearing he needs a chaperone though.