Handicapping Barstool's Mini Golf Tournament
I am typing this blog from a shuttle bus filled with Barstool bloggers who, based on both the time of requested arrival (5:30am) and stench on this speeding capsule, certainly have not showered today. But the big accomplishment is that everyone that is supposed to be here is here already! As we scurry off to the Hamptons for the day to compete on a miniature golf course against one another, I figured I'd set some odds on some of the top contenders:
Kirk MInihane +375
Kirk has an incredible wealth of golf knowledge as evident every time he enters a Dozen trivia match. He knows the game and currently plays the game. He has talked for years about his mini golf prowess and even guaranteed a victory today, so I'm setting him as the favorite.
Dave Portnoy +500
Another guy with Barstool mini golf tournament experience. We're playing on his home turf essentially, though I cannot confirm if h e's actually played on this course. In an environment where I expect everyone to feel a ton of pressure, I'm not worried about Dave in the clutch. +550 feels like a value.
Hank Lockwood +550
He has been playing a lot of golf lately and recently got in a practice round at the very course we'll be playing at which definitely works in his favor. We'll also be using TaylorMade clubs, who are the official golf equipment partner of Barstool Sports. I know Hank was recently fitted for some clubs, so another factor in Handsome Hank's favor.
Jeff D. Lowe +550
Jeff played golf in high school, so you already know he's going to be pretty good. Putting is a big part about being good at real golf, so I imagine he will be a tough competitor. This was his reply to Kirk's guarantee.
Steven Cheah +800
Yes, I am writing this, but the fact of the matter is, I am the only one with actual Championship pedigree in mini golf when playing against an entire field of competitors. Granted, most of my competition was in elementary and middle school, but I was a victor nevertheless.
Jersey Jerry +925
He's been playing a lot of golf lately, but real and miniature so based on muscle memory alone I think this is a fair line. This happens to us all so can't ding him too much for it.
Big Cat +1000
Another guy who I can see not being rattled in the moment. He is a juggernaught. He also should be adequately rested after making the trip out there last night which is an advantage. Don't count my man out!
PFT Commenter +1000
PFT always seems to surprise with his athleticism. Golf is more of a skill game, but so is playing guitar which he's also awesome at. There is literally nothing this man cannot do, so I expect him to be in it near the end.
Kontent Kim +1200
Her husband plays a lot of golf, so surely she's played a fair amount. I don't know what golf courses in Oklahoma are like, but I do have heard they have the world's best sky views so I'd imagine you'd be wanting to play a ton of golf. She could surprise today.
Frank the Tank +1350
I'm not sure Frank slept last night! Guy was up and rearing to go at a local bus stop at 4:39am. Nothing but respect for one of the titans of the game. Can he shine bright on the biggest stage?
Smitty +1600
Smitty claims to have won a mini golf tournament before as a youth, yet has no hardware to show for it. He claims they wrote the winners down on a white board. Smitty says a lot of things.
Kate +1750 +2000
You look good, you feel good. You feel good, you play good.
EDIT: She stepped in dog poop, had to lower odds.
Duggs +2000
I'm sitting behind him as I type this and I can already tell he does not have a Championship energy today.
Late entrant: Big T +1300
Now this guy has Championship energy. Holy moly! Maybe he'll do great, maybe he'll do poorly. But there is zero doubt in my mind he is ready to play!
Whatever happens, I think we'll all be hydrated with plenty of Biolyte on site and enjoy the experience courtesy of Puttery. Thank you to our great sponsors. Now who do YOU think will win the mini golf tournament? Sounds off in the comments.