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The Owner Of Monza - An Italian Soccer Club - Apparently Has An Outrageous List Of 'Physical Requirements' For Players They Can Sign

What can go wrong here? I mean I know somewhere a Yankees fan is screaming that this works for 27 rings. Really gotta hammer it home that they need an Italian. That one is by far the funniest on this list. 'Hey Silvio, Cristiano Ronaldo is interested in coming back to Italy and playing here.' Not interested! Not Italian! Don't worry though, there is a special clause to getting around this: 

Okay, so if you are good enough they can just look the other way. Honestly, don't blame them there. You should always, ALWAYS, make an exception if a player is good. It's just the way life is. Wonder how they feel about Wanda Nara with Mauro Icardi if he signs there. 

I don't mean to tell a guy on how to run his team (except for James Dolan) but does he know he owns a soccer team? Does he know he runs an Italian soccer club? Every Italian soccer player has tattoos and for sure a beard. It's how people know you're likely Italian. That and a tattoo of a cross of some sort. Guaranteed Italian at that point. 

I am interested in the barber on site though. I mean, not anymore since I'm a bald, but how good of a barber is this guy? If you have a requirement for a neat haircut I assume it's the standard soccer haircut. Somewhat of a fade with a little design in it. Free haircuts is a bonus though. Gotta tip my cap there. 

This is how you handle your first year back in Serie A. Clean cut Italians only.