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Sunday Sentences

Giphy Images.

Sunday Sentences. Here are some things about me in sentence form.

I went out in Columbus yesterday for the first time since Barstool Idol. Nobody recognized me and I threw a tantrum.

I'm going to attempt to infiltrate Picks Central by betting nothing but giant favorites. -300 or bigger. I've always wanted to see if I could win a month that way. I'm 2-0 so far. Maybe they will acknowledge me soon.

I know Nate and Hubbs are going to want me to blog more. Like blogs about sports and current events and things of that nature. On one hand I'm afraid those are going to water down the types of blogs that I actually like to write. But on the other hand I want to become a better more well-rounded writer, so I know it would be good for me. I will have to work on finding that balance.

If you're ever in a situation where you don't know what to say, you can always just say, "well it's all about finding a balance". It applies to almost everything. Especially at work.

I've been making that "finding a balance" joke for so long I almost forgot I stole it from an old viral tweet.

I have a gay rival named Kevin. The rivalry will be resuming now that pride month is over.

If anybody in NYC has a slow pitch softball team and needs a ringer, I am available.

It is really scary to have a following on Twitter when you're drunk. 

I took a break from writing this blog to puke. 

Everyone tells me to not get lost in the comments, but that's all I do. I live in the comments section. It has fully gone to my head, and it will eventually be the end of me.

If the wheel eliminated me from Barstool Idol on the first day, I was going to challenge The Yak to a bench-off. If I won I got to stay. KB got up 185lbs 6-7 times. I think I would have been close to that. I asked KB if they would have accepted the challenge and he said yes. That would have been fun.

I haven't worked out in 2 weeks now. I wouldn't stand a chance in a bench-off anymore.

I won about $500 playing craps in Las Vegas and bought Gucci slides. It was a horrible purchase. They cut up my feet when I walk around in them for more than a couple hours. If they are out in the sun for too long, the rubber gets scorching hot to the point that it burns you. They don't even look cool.

I bought my chain necklace on vacation in St. Thomas before I came to Barstool Idol. We walked into a jewelry shop and the owner fed us shots of rum & tequila until I was drunk enough to buy men's jewelry. 

I'm in talks with John Rich's (country singer) manager about coming to Barstool. I think there's a good chance I'm getting catfished. I spent the last couple months catfishing his fans. I might have found myself in a good ol' fashioned catfish-off. The guy who emailed me about the bottles sent me another email the other day.


Fuck you Kevin.