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Turning Off The Power In Your Kid's Room As They Play With A Ouija Board During A Sleepover Is An ELITE Dad Prank

Usually hearing a kid scream has every parent ready to enter battle mode to lift up a car, fight a bear, or some crazy shit you could never imagine doing. However in between those screams, you work your ass off to pay for your kid's total existence, everything you say either gets ignored or clowned, and your entire life is spent making sure they don't fuck up their lives as you gradually turn into your parents.

Which is why scaring the everliving shit out of them is so beautiful. I bet that dad's brain hasn't had that much dopamine flood it since he had kids by pulling as good of a prank as you can pull without potentially maiming someone. God knows how many times he had to put his New Balances on then shlep his ass down the basement stairs to flip a breaker as his kids complained about no lights or internet because too many appliances were running during dinner. But those screams made all those trips worth it. Plus let's be honest, anybody that dabbles in the dark arts by using a Ouija board they bought on Amazon deserve all the scary shit that happens to them. 

For more elite dadding, check out this week's Podfathers where we discuss Denise Richards joining OnlyFans with her daughter (for $5 more per month), Glenny Balls becoming Glenny Pimps, the best nap you can possibly have, and the worst road trip you can possibly plan for your family.