FAQ: Freddy Adu

Doug Pensinger. Getty Images.

Sometimes when I write blogs I just ask myself questions and answer them. Going to call these FAQ blogs. This one is about Freddy Adu.

Who is Freddy Adu?

American soccer prodigy who never lived up to the hype.

Does Freddy Adu wear a hat?

Rarely. A Google Image search of "Freddy Adu wearing a hat" yields a single hatted image of Freddy Adu. It does not fit his head well. Here is a link to the picture: click

Does Freddy Adu have an odd head shape?

Absolutely. From the front it is nearly a perfect circle which is weird for a head. It reminds me of the perfect circles my friend from high school used to be able to draw on chalkboards with one easy stroke.

What was your friend's full name and what city does he live in?

Jacob Nowak. He lives in Philadelphia.

What are the first 3 digits of his phone number?

419

Is that the same Jacob Nowak who went missing last year in Menomonee Falls, Wisconsin?

No it is a different Jacob Nowak. The one who went missing was eventually found. 

Do you plan on doxing a lot of people while you're at Barstool?

Yes. This is the second person I have doxed. I doxed Nolan Saneholtz when I was on The Bracket. Every time Nolan sneezed, he would sneeze 10 times in a row. They were cute sneezes. Whenever he started sneezing the whole class would count the number of sneezes out loud. I don't have him pegged as a Barstool fan so I'm not worried about this getting back to him. I am more worried about Jacob Nowak.

When does the Bracket come out?

Tomorrow (Thursday, June 30th).

Were you funny on it?

Not particularly.

Does Freddy Adu kind of look like the drawings of faces on that pain scale thing?

That's a bit of a stretch but maybe a little.

Are you out of Freddy Adu questions?

Pretty much. I have a couple other ones but I don't think they're funny. Also, I need to get on a flight in 10 minutes so we're out of time.

Are there any other people you would like to dox?

So many more. You have no idea. But I will hold off for now. Can't blow all my doxing material the first week. 

Aren't you just stealing Nick & KB's doxing bit?

A little bit yeah