Lighten the Fuck Up! She Was 18, Living at Home, & Six Weeks Late... (LTFU Joke #100!)

Giphy Images.

A sassy 18-year-old Italian girl from a humble upbringing and still living at home told her mamma she was six weeks late…

Worried and upset, her mamma went to the Farmacia and bought a pregnancy test. She demanded that her daughter immediately take the test. The test result confirmed that the young girl was pregnant… 

The girl's mother lost control, shouting and cursing before she asked, "Who is this pig that did this to you? I need to know!"

The girl picked up the telephone and made a call. A half hour later, a shiny red Ferrari stopped in front of their modest home and a mature, very distinguished gentleman with gray hair who was impeccably dressed in a perfectly tailored Armani suit, stepped out of the flashy sports car. Once he entered the house he took a seat in the living room across from the young girl and her parents. After an uncomfortable silence, the gentleman began explaining how he would handle this difficult situation…

"Good morning. Your daughter has informed me that she is pregnant and I am the father. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take care of her in the best way possible…"

"I will agree to pay all medical expenses and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. She will live very well. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a brand new Ferrari, two retail stores, a townhouse, and a beachfront villa. And, in addition to all of that, I'll put 4 million euros in a personal bank account for her. If a boy is born, I will bequeath a brand new Ferrari, two factories, a townhouse, and a beachfront villa. And, I'll put 4 million euros in a personal bank account for him as well."

"If she should give birth to twins, each child shall receive a brand new Ferrari, a factory, a retail store, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and I'll put 4 million euros in personal bank accounts for each of them." 

After another uncomfortable silence, he began speaking directly to the girl's parents, this time in a more somber tone. "In the unfortunate event your daughter miscarries, what do you suggest I do then?"

The girl's father, who up to this point had remained completely silent, placed his hands firmly upon the gentleman's shoulders and said, "Then, with my blessing, Sir, you can continue to fuck my daughter again and again until you get it right!"                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

* Vindog has been repurposing jokes since 1968 (and flipping people off forever!)

This is LTFU Joke #100! 


There's no better way to 'Lighten the Fuck Up' than doing it wearing LTFU merch!

But don't take my word for it, here's markopolo's comment in LTFU Joke #98, "Lots of thumbs up and great comments when I wear your LTFU tee out in public."