I Will Vote For Any Candidate Who Makes Outrageous "Resort Fees" Illegal

Politicians focus on all the wrong things. We know this. All politics is at this point is one big dog and pony show. The left votes with the left, the right votes with the right, and it doesn't matter what the American people want because we are all just pawns in their game. But there are some issues that EVERYONE should easily be able to agree on. Basic things- we need roads and bridges, of course. Kids should be able to go to school, awesome. And resort fees at hotels SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!

I recently booked a trip and am staying at a hotel. Because I am a big swinging dick, a huge deal, world famous celebrity and will have a lot of bitches with me the entire time, I have a couple nights of comped rooms. It has nothing to do with the fact it's an older hotel with a ton of empty rooms they are dying to fill, absolutely nothing to do with that at all.

So my total for my stay? $87. Magnificent! Pretty great for a 5 day trip. Gonna eat at their restaurants, gamble in their casino, really give them back all the money hand over fist, just as they planned. 

BUT WAIT.

Oh, you thought those comped rooms were actually comped? NOT SO FAST, MY FRIEND!

Because hotels these days have a little thing they like to call "Resort Fees" and that's where they get ya. Check it out:

Look, I'm all about free market. I get businesses need to make money. But I am ANTI-scamming the American people! $39.95 per room PER NIGHT!!!! Outrageous!!!! What does that come with, a handy and a see ya tomorrow? Nope. 

$39.95 WiFi per day and a gym I will never ever ever ever ever EVER lay eyes on. If I even get on the same floor as the gym I'd be amazed. And of course, local calls. Because it's 1981 and we obviously need to make local calls, Jiminy Cricket. 

Thank goodness I'm so independently wealthy from founding Barstool Sports so I can crack open my piggy bank, take my nickels and dimes down to the Coinstar, and pay those fees. So this blog isn't for me, it's for the American people. Where do they get off doing this to us? Isn't anything sacred anymore? Where do we draw the line?

MGM was actually sued for these fees, as someone decided to stand up for us and take action:

Casino.org - Travelers United, a non-profit that claims to “represent all travelers,” has sued MGM Resorts over much-loathed resort fees.

On its Web site, Travelers United says this is “a price deception case,” claiming “this is a clear case of false advertising.”

But as far as I know nothing has come from it.

This nonsense has gone on far too long. We need Sleepy Joe to come out of his bike induced coma and put an end to this. Or at least make it negotiable. Will I be making local calls? No. Will I see the inside of the gym? Absolutely not. Great, let's slice those fees in half. It's just common sense, man.

And don't even get ME STARTED on what the airline industry is doing to us. Here's a fun exercise- book a flight for 6 months from now. Somehow, someway, that completely random Tuesday afternoon flight only has middle seats available…well…unless you want to pay for it! Somehow that flight Detroit to Atlanta in 6 months is completely booked up! It's fucking lunacy what they are allowed to get away with. We bailed out these cocksuckers and they return the favor by absolutely fucking us over at every turn. Fuck airlines so hard.

See you all in Vegas.