The NBA Draft is coming up and whether you are a diehard college basketball fan like me, a casual hoops watcher, or know nothing about basketball, you may or may not recognize some of the top names in this year's class. I'm not here to tell you which of these guys will translate best to the Association and which prospects will be the ones who can excel off the dribble. Instead, I want to help you sound smart when the NBA Draft topic comes up in your group chat tomorrow night. The below messages for each player will help spark conversations about each player that will hopefully make it sound like you have a good idea of what you are talking about.
Some of these may be based off their name alone, some of it may be from something I noticed during their college careers (I'll be transparent - I'm not going to follow what they do in the NBA nearly as close as I did in college hoops). But let's get to it...
Jabari Smith (Auburn) - "Probably a fun locker room guy, but can flip the switch and turn it up to the next level when it's time to work. Probably doesn't sweat as much as Bruce Pearl."
Chet Holmgren (Gonzaga) - "Tall and skinny. Tall and skinny. Tall and skinny. Get this man some cheeseburgers! He is so, so good though. Interested to see how someone built like him will fare in the NBA."
Paolo Banchero (Duke) - "Lost to North Carolina in Coach K's final home game and lost to North Carolina in the Final Four. Can't win when it matters most."
Jaden Ivey (Purdue) - "This man's college career ended thanks to the Saint Peter's Peacocks. I'd think he has a chip on his shoulder entering the next level."
Dyson Daniels (Ignite - G League) - "There are so many t-shirt marketing opportunities you can do with this name. Alliteration in a name makes it very easy on the merch team if he ends up being a stud. | can visualize the store right now... "DOUBLE D" or "DAMN, DANIELS!" I'm sure there are plenty of other great ideas."
Keegan Murray (Iowa) - "You're not going to get great soundbites out of him, he is just going to show up to the arena and put up numbers. He was a pleasure to watch at the college level."
Bennedict Mathurin (Arizona) - "Beast. An absolute beast. Probably has the biggest presence (literally) out of this year's class."
AJ Griffin (Duke) - "Lost to North Carolina in Coach K's final home game and lost to North Carolina in the Final Four. Can't win when it matters most."
Shaedon Sharpe (Kentucky?) - "Committed to play for John Calipari but never ended up playing at the college level. This is a roll of the dice."
Malaki Branham (Ohio State) - "Managed to exceed expectations in the Big Ten last year as a shooting guard, which was a conference that was dominated by big men. Super impressive."
Johnny Davis (Wisconsin) - "One of the best players in college basketball last season who proved a guy from Pardon My Take wrong. Can take over a game at any time."
Jeremy Sochan (Baylor) - "He has a very cool hairdo."
Ochai Agbaji (Kansas) - "His National Championship run this season definitely helped his draft stock. His name isn't as hard to pronounce as it seems."
Mark Williams (Duke) - "Lost to North Carolina in Coach K's final home game and lost to North Carolina in the Final Four. Can't win when it matters most."
Christian Braun (Kansas) - "His name is pronounced BROWN and not BRAWN. Thank me later."
Wendell Moore Jr. (Duke) - "Lost to North Carolina in Coach K's final home game and lost to North Carolina in the Final Four. Can't win when it matters most."
Try copy + pasting the above messages in your group chat before or during the NBA Draft and let's see if anyone is impressed. I have no idea how this experiment will work, but it's worth a shot. Looking forward to seeing the results!